Thursday, November 12, 2009

The magic of cinema

This is an excerpt (My most favorite part) from the book "Conversations - Walter Murch & the Art of Editing Film" by Michael Ondaatje - author of The English Patient. It is long & calls for TREMENDOUS patience, but trust me, it is totally worth it.

(FYI, Walter Murch is the first guy ever to have been credited for 'Sound Design' and he is the editor of films like Godfather - I, II & III, Apocalypse Now, THX 1138, English Patient, Talented Mr. Ripley, Conversations & Unbearable Lightness of Being).

Murch: There's a great game--I forget whether we've talked about it--Negative Twenty Questions?

Ondaatje: No, we haven't talked about it.

Murch: It was invented by John Wheeler, a quantum physicist who was a young graduate student of Niels Bohr's in the 1930s. Wheeler is the man who invented the term "black hole". He's an extremely articulate proponent of the best of twentieth-century physics. Still alive, and I believe still teaching, writing.

Anyway, he thought up a parlour game that reflects the way the world is constructed at a quantum level. It involves, say, four people: Michael,
Anthony, Walter, and Aggie. From the point of view of one of those people, Michael, the game that's being played is the normal Twenty Questions--Ordinary Twenty Questions, I guess you'd call it. So Michael leaves the room, under the illusion that the other three players are going to look around and collectively decide on the chosen object to be guessed by him--say, the alarm clock. Michael expects that when they've made their decision they will ask him to come back in and try to guess the object in fewer than twenty questions.
Under normal circumstances, the game is a mixture of perspicacity and luck: No, it's not bigger than a breadbox. No, you can't eat it....Those kinds of things.

But in Wheeler's version of the game, when Michael leaves the room, the three remaining players
don'tcommunicate with one another at all. Instead, each of them silently decides on an object. Then they call Michael back in.
So, there's a disparity between what Michael believes and what the underlying truth is: Nobody knows what anyone else is thinking. The game proceeds regardless, which is where the fun comes in.

Michael asks Walter: Is the object bigger than a breadbox? Walter--who has picked the alarm clock--says, No. Now, Anthony has chosen the sofa, which is bigger than a
breadbox. And since Michael is going to ask him the next question, Anthony must quickly look around the room and come up with something else--a coffee cup!--which is smaller than a breadbox. So when Michael asks Anthony, If I emptied out my pockets could I put their contents in this object? Anthony says, Yes.
Now Aggie's choice may have been the small pumpkin carved for Halloween, which could also contain Michael's keys and coins, so when Michael says, Is it edible? Aggie says, Yes. That's a problem for Walter and Anthony, who have chosen inedible objects: they now have to change their selection to something edible, hollow, and smaller than a breadbox.


So a complex vortex of decision making is set up, a logical but unpredictable chain of ifs and thens. To end successfully, the game must produce, in fewer than twenty questions, an object that satisfies all of the logical requirements: smaller than a breadbox, edible, hollow, et cetera. Two things can happen: Success--this vortex can give birth to an answer that will seem to be inevitable in retrospect: Of course! It's the ----! And the game ends with Michael still believing he has just played Ordinary Twenty Questions. In fact, no one chose the ---- to start with, and Anthony, Walter, and Aggie have been sweating it out, doing these hidden mental gymnastics, always one step ahead of failure.
Which is the other possible result: Failure--the game can break down catastrophically. By question 15, let's say, the questions asked have generated logical requirements so complex that nothing in the room can satisfy them. And when Michael asks Anthony the sixteenth question, Anthony breaks down and has to confess that he doesn't know, and Michael is finally let in on the secret: The game was Negative Twenty Questions all along. Wheeler suggests that the nature of perception and reality, at the quantum level, and perhaps above, is somehow similar to this game.

When I read about this, it reminded me acutely of filmmaking. There is an agreed-upon game, which is the screenplay, but in the process of making the film, there are so many variables that everyone has a slightly different interpretation of the screenplay. The cameraman develops an opinion, then is told that Clark Gable has been cast in that part. He thinks, Gable? Huh, I didn't think it would be Gable. If it's Gable, I'm going to have to replan. Then the art director does something to the set, and the actor says, This is my apartment? All right, if this is my apartment, then I'm a slightly different person from who I thought I was: I will change my performance. The camera operator following him thinks, Why is he doing that? Oh, it's because... All right, I'll have to widen out because he's doing these unpredictable things. And then the editor does something unexpected with those images and this gives the director an idea about the script, so he changes a line. And so the costumer sees that and decides the actor can't wear dungarees. And so it goes, with everyone continuously modifying their preconceptions. A film can succeed in the end, spiralling in on itself to a final result that looks as if it has been predicted long in advance in every detail. But in fact it grew out of a mad scramble as everyone involved took advantage of all the various decisions everyone else had been making.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

...and

And just like that, the film decides that it is time to get made. And I thought I had something to do with the 'when' and 'how' of it. Duh.


Sunday, October 25, 2009

one liners...

Its one of those Sunday mornings when you are generally looking around for something to sink your teeth in. This thing on TV might have just done it for me, I think ;)

So this HP commercial goes "Hi I am Sid and I love music". That just cracks me up. I mean...someone is actually getting paid to come up with a line like "I love music"?

"Hi, nice to meet you. So what do you do for fun?"
"I love Music!"
"Sure, mate. How about that 'breathing' thing? Thats also pretty cool, no?"

While on annoying one-liners, there is the Ms. Alcohol Saint. You run into these characters in most parties.

"Hi, nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?"
"oh no, thanks. I get high on life"

Feisty! Note she doesn't just say "I dont drink, thanks". No way! - that would be self-deprecating. And worse, would just answer the question. You gotta be more elaborate than that. You gotta have a STORY behind your teetotaling.

"Hi, nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?"
"oh no, thanks. I get high on life"
"Thats just so sad, sweetie. Out here, we get high on life AND alcohol. na nana na na!"

Another oft-spotted-party-species is Mr. DadINeverHad. These guys usually are the hosts.

"Alrite, chief. I think we will head home now. Thanks for having us. Good night"
"Oh it is so late. Please call and let me know you guys reached OK".

Now folks, I have had quite a few late nights in my life and met many Mr. DadINeverHads. And given the limited capabilities of my memory, I almost always forget to make 'that' call. I just find it strange that none of 'em have ever called me back, or come out looking for me or filed a police complaint, or even complained of losing sleep that night.

"Alrite, chief. I think we will head home now. Thanks for having us. Good night"
"Oh it is so late. Please call and let me know you guys reached OK"
"Sure. And you call me when Rakhi Sawant cracks mensa".

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Mirror mirror on the floor...

ITC Grand Central Hotel. Mumbai. Circa 2009.

For the 25th time this year, I enter the hotel in a cab. Three well built men, dressed in imposing black uniforms stop me, just like they have stopped me 24 times before. The least beefy among them walks slowly towards the car and inserts this mirror-on-wheels under the chassis and observes attentively. Convinced that there is nothing else but rotting auto parts there, he then turns to the other gentleman, who by now has his head inside the trunk. The head comes out unhurriedly and gives the less-beefy man a reassuring nod. Relieved that I am not out to harm humanity, they let my car proceed.


Surely, if I want to blow up ITC Grand Central, I will dress up in a business suit, pack loads of explosives under my chassis (exactly where it will be visible in the mirror) or just throw them in my trunk (for extra leg-room in the back seat), patiently wait for the inspection to be over (front & back!), so that I can then get on with blowing myself up.

Surely.

PS: But in a sagging economy, to think that this has given jobs to roughly a million people nationwide who are doing this day-in day-out - a masterstroke!
and yes, not to mention the 'impenetrable' security this is giving our hotels...

Friday, October 9, 2009

Venky

Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is a pioneering scientist. Am sure his body of work will someday affect my granddaughter's protein consumption.

So what is interesting about Venky?

He has a name that is made up of four god's names (with one receiving unfair advantage of a repetition). A pretty defiant name, me thinks - considering he comes from a city where traditionally all of these 3 gods were despised. In short - a possible vaishnavite from the saivite capital.

Dont dig that trivia? cool. So what else is interesting about Venky?

He left India in 1971. Roughly 6 years before I was born. 'So what about that?', I hear you ask. 'An entire generation of educated, upwardly mobile Indians left the shores in those days'. True.

So what else is interesting about Venky?

He came back to India about 7-8 times (to teach in IISc, charity, etc). Thats coincidental! Thats about the same number of times I have gone to Vegas - for charity, again. Dont trust me? Ask the number of casino workers who got a raise that year, thanks to the money I lost on the poker table.

So what else is interesting about Venky?

'Dude, he got the nobel'. Remember the award instituted by the guy who invented dynamite? (Yeah yeah, the same guy who refused to institute an award for Mathematics, because his wife ran away with a math teacher). I often wonder how the guy who invented the dynamite can give away an award for peace, but I digress. Lets get back to Venky.

So what about Venky's nobel?

Nothing. Just that it is weird that the Indian media is celebrating. 'Why not yaar? he was born in chidambaram, he studied in vadodara and what the heck? he is brown!!!'. OK. ok. ok.

what? what was that? did i hear you call me a jealous bastard? well, may be I am. But I still think it is weird that we are celebrating. Some asshole even had the headline "Venky is India's pride".

Fuck you.

The man left India almost 40 years back. He left because there was nothing this country could offer for his development. And he did not come back because he could not do what he wanted to do, here. In other words, he abandoned this place for something better. Dont get me wrong, I think he is a very nice guy and a wise one at that. And 'smart', obviously - he got the dynamite prize, remember?

So call him that. Smart, wise and nice. Dont call him India's pride. Coz this award doesnt tell you what we did. It tells you what we couldnt. And cannot, still.