:))))))))))))))))))))))

Shut the fuck up!....and while you are at it, get a life!

Really?

So an entire court in Bhopal - the judge and all its employees, are going to be paid a day's salary (at least) for hearing this case...coz this is obviously more important for the nation's judiciary than the 15000 cases in the backlog on murder, rape and robbery.

The girl is 21.....and the first woman in generations of billions to be ranked significantly in world tennis....and this is the best you could do as a sports photographer? having her sort out judicial volleys in addition to Venus's and Maria's?

This is so ridiculous that it makes a Lindsay Lohan drunken driving case an epic court battle of global implications, in comparison.

In my opinion, if anybody has to be sued for insulting the flag in this picture, it is the darned photographer for choosing this angle for the object in the foreground.....

Reductio ad absurdum!

Elsewhere...


A bunch of die-hard patriots burnt the effigies of Mark Benson and Bucknor, last week....The two men responsible for all the injustice that life has thrown their and their families' way. The two men standing between mankind and world peace.


My theory: Lack of good sex is inducing a chemical imbalance in these perfectly normal looking men, which is making them indulge in this stupidity. I cant come up with a better explanation for why a man will spend a fine monday afternoon, burning straw!! Patriotism, my foot.

The only thing crazier than this is CNN IBN coming up with a novel initiative to show their support for the sons of the soil, by launching an online petition for revoking the ban on Harbhajan...seriously? Do they even realize what a 'hearing' means? Isnt it ridiculous to demand a specific outcome from a judicial exercise? Should they not be asking just for a 'fair hearing'??? well....I guess thats about as much as you can expect from news channels that have a 'background score' for news....

But the biggest joke of them all is yet to come....

"Indians drink buffalo milk but worship the white cow. They do not worship the buffalo because its black."

Quote attributed to: Mahoshay 'Kancha Iliah'
His claim to fame: A book titled 'Buffalo Nationalism' (which I dont look forward to reading)
Event in question: 'Are we racist?' - a supposed introspection into the nation's psyche from CNN IBN, post the monkey fiasco down under.

Really, I respect CNN IBN more than any of the other news channels (DD not included).....but this one beats even the Navjot Sidhu comedy going on for the last 2 weeks....This is actually so funny, I am not even angry!

Kite Runner....

Both Marc Foster and I have spent most of November 07, working on the Kite Runner. Him, trying to finish the post production and me, trying to finish the book. He beat me to it! I finally finished the book last week and bought myself a ticket last night at the movies. The last time I saw a movie by myself was in the early nineties, when I watched Braveheart on the last show of the last day. None of my school friends wanted to see a depressing film about a man in a skirt (this was before it won the academy awards). Similar situation last night. Most of my friends were either not in town or not too keen to watch a film by the 'Monster's ball' director. The little or no advertising that the film got in the States dint help either.

I walked into screen 2 of the multiplex moments before the start, to spoil the privacy of a mexican couple - the only other souls in the hall. Thankfully, a newly wed Indian couple joined us minutes later. So there you go. The projector in a downtown Houston cinema, beaming the film just for the 5 of us....I mean, 3 of us.

Bad news first (spoiler alert!).

Soraya's eyebrows do not meet.

The guy playing Amir cant act to save his life.

There is no harelip.

and did I mention Soraya's eyebrows dont meet?

I loved the movie, nevertheless. I cant remember any other time when I finished a book and watched the movie so soon after, before the hangover died away. Its good and bad, I guess. Bad because you keep praying that the image on screen is exactly the same as the one you painted in your mind. So, you are extremely disappointed if it turns out otherwise.

For example, I was really looking forward to the 'half-time in the soccer match' scene. Not for the killings, but for the scene when the match resumes, after. I thought that was the essence of the scene, more than the killings themselves. Sadly, there is no 'after' in the film.

Another scene I was dying to see was the fight between Assef and Amir at the end. The way I played it out in my mind, there will be a large orchestra playing, a lot of slow motion, and a lot of close ups of Amir laughing - almost psychedelic. Almost like the scene where Bruce Willis fights the killer in 'Unbreakable'. I thought that scene was more poetic than anything else, when I read the book. Unfortunately in this film, the fight scene is just that. A fight scene.

However, it is a great film at the end of the day. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see that none of the scenes were over romanticised - like the way I did in my mind. They are actually very 'matter of fact'ly and that was an interesting perspective for me. The film also looks extremely authentic. The flea market, the soccer field, the pomegranate tree...

And the boy who plays Hassan is amazing. His smile has all the innocence you would expect and then more. However, the best actor in the film is undoubtedly baba. Bravo! His transition from the imposing father to the cancer patient is so real, that you will almost miss it.

When I left the theatre in the cold of the night, I was really glad I made the trip. However, I couldnt help feel that the film was playing catch-up with the book, most of the time. It was as though some of the scenes were meant to sprint, so the next scene could be there in time. Or may be it was my book hangover acting up. I would love to hear from somebody who saw it, without reading the book.

Clarity...

Call me simplistic, but I believe that great eloquency is a result of absolute clarity in thought. There are only 3 people I know in sub-continent politics, who can walk into an impromptu press con and talk about complex issues for hours, without as much as a single stammer - Jaswant Singh, Jayalalitha and Bhutto. I might not subscribe to all of their political views, but I believe they are an endangered species.

The K Awards...

ok....am a bit jobless right now.....but hey, almost everybody else is doing it....'Of the Year' awards seem to be the best thing that man can do in December....I refuse to be left behind!

The 2007 K award for the real 'weapon of mass destruction'



With the exception of suicide bombers and 'philishave' users, every other man I know is willing to put a couple of blades more to his face, once every 6 months...just because gillette says so....from 2 to 3 to 5 to 'i have lost count'.....and did i mention, paying a fortune more every time?....but damn, they are good!

The 2007 K award for the 'Rapidest of Rapids'



The Chennai MRTS project started when I was 8....I am 30 now...it is still 'a work in progress'....this work horse has successfully weathered through 7 wars....4 recessions....25 Rajini films....countless prime ministers....an entire highway connecting the 4 corners of the country and 2 other transit projects.....a lil birdie tells me the Delhi Metro project took only 4 years to complete...what a loser! Thats almost a premature ejaculation!! Go Chennai!

The 2007 'This film makes me want to go to the restroom and stay there for 2 hours' award

The sweetest half bake of 2007...

I think child actors, when they are good, come off really stunning on screen....be it Shamli in 'Anjali'....Anna Paquin in 'Piano'...the kid in 'sixth sense'....or Darsheel in 'Taare'....something mesmerizing happens, when real innocence and real talent mix....something that will never be possible for an adult to pull off, ever.

During Taare, you never get enough of Darsheel, in spite of him being in almost every frame...his performance seems so genuine, that it is difficult to believe he would have just repeated what was enacted to him.

The song montages are an absolute treat....especially the one where Ishaan has his day out on the road...wow!...I think it is these montages that make a rather simplistic film flow over 3 hours, without boring you - most of the time! Actually, coming to think of it....the film must have only 3-4 pages of dialogue....because i cant remember a stretch longer than 5 minutes, without a song...

if only aamir had not lip synced to that intermission song! ;(

if only the mother character was not mutilated half way though the film ;( and the father's, murdered!!!

if only the flip book was not flipped 7 times....

if only aamir's (girl)friend had something to do in the film....

if only the teacher did not ask for poetry interpretation from third graders....

but hey....the film has so many things going for it, that it almost gets made up for - almost!

the special effects of the kid's hallucinations are especially slick

prasoon joshi's lyrics for the 'ma' song are bound to haunt you for years to come

aamir's framing throughout the film is that of a seasoned pro...not a first time director!

SLE's music is lovable - once again......this is one of those films that u will love instantly if u r a 'buy cd before seeing the film' person....

even if none of these work for you, a pair of bunny teeth is sure to keep you tied to the seat - most of the time ;)