Filter Coffee

I am moving ;)

2011-10-23T07:02:00.005-04:00

Hey,

If you are reading this, you probably have been here before, or you are coming from a friend's blog, or you are a spamming bot.

If you are the first one, then I owe you my apologies for not having posted regularly here, for more than a year now. While work and my new film have kept me busy, it has also been because I have been writing elsewhere as well (mostly on social media and nothing earth shattering). Sorry to have kept you waiting and thanks for considering this place worth enough to come back to!

If you are a first time visitor, welcome to my World. Its not as much of a ghost town as it seems here ;)

If you are a bot then hey, you know the drill! Just go down on my post and blow it up ;)

Folks, the point of this post is to let you know that I have moved Filter Coffee to a different address. Mostly because Wordpress gave me more options to consolidate my stuff from other places and also customize. I hope the smell of fresh paint will motivate me to post more and better. Come over!

Cheers,

On Time Arrival...

2011-06-27T00:57:00.005-04:00

It sure is a Dying Art.

Since time immemorial, one of the toughest questions ever posed to mankind has been “What is the best time to reach the airport for a flight?”

Millions of homosapiens including scholars, mothers, politicians, the common woman and the uncommon man, have tried different strategies over the last century (which is kinda time immemorial), without any credible answer. But on this fine June morning, circa 2011 AD, I might have cried ‘Eureka’ – Not while in a bathtub, not while running naked from there, but while taking a piss in this unreasonably cramped Jet Airways 9W 822 toilet.

The answer my dear friends, has nothing to do with flights. In fact, it hardly has anything to do with travelling. ‘Be the last person to get in, without dissing anybody’ is IT and I request you to hold your applause for a moment.

Let me first explain.

Imagine that your friend invited you and another person over for coffee. Or better still, beer. Now, if your friend is anything like my friends, she is likely to reach the place 15 minutes early (its not about the beer. My friends are just made that way). And if You are anything like me, you are probably going to reach there ten minutes late. Of course this would have been caused by bad traffic (which, contrary to popular imagination can happen on Sunday afternoons. Sometimes.) or an asteroid missing you narrowly. And when you walk in, questions will be raised about your punctuality, repeat offending, birth, etc. I don’t blame them. But the real, logical truth of the matter is that your friend was 5 minutes more unpunctual than you. And you my beloved, are the only person in that room who arrived closest to the scheduled time.

Relax your brows.

Think about it honestly. When beer is being served at 3:00 PM, you should arrive as close to 3:00 PM as possible. By arriving 15 minutes early, you are taking the host for granted, you are running the risk of catching him unprepared, you are patronizing warmer beer, you are being non-optimal in the usage of your lifetime, you are being a global warmer, but most importantly, you are just being an ass. Now, how that is better than arriving at 3:10 PM, is beyond me. In fact, the guy arriving at 3:10 should reserve the right to criticize, make fun and question the birth of anybody who came more than 10 minutes early. I am sure your high school math teacher will agree with me.

By the same logic, the most punctual guy on a flight is the one to board on the dot, without dissing anybody. Not the guy in 16C, who boarded a full 37 minutes before take off. Loser. Now this is by no means an easy ask. Your loved ones at home are gonna experience some high BP. The cab guy who you asked to break neck, will curse your unborn children. You might end up having a man-to-man chat with the guy at the check-in counter, who would claim that ‘Delhi is closed’, as though it was a fucking sandwich box. He will eventually let you check-in. The restless souls who have been in the security queue for hours will open their jaws in a synchronized manner when they see you ‘officially’ cut the queue, escorted by an airline staff. But then my friend, like Aamir Khan will tell you, you cannot aim for success, if you don’t have the stomach for excellence.

Like I said, it is a Dying Art. One that our friends and family, should help us revive.

PS: Please appreciate presence of the Salvador Dali picture on this post even though it doesnt have any bloody connection to the topic.

with Love & a DSLR...

2011-05-15T10:24:00.012-04:00

I saw two amazing films on Saturday night, made with love and with absolutely no artificial lights. One was a commercial and the other, Amol Gupte's "Stanley ka Dabba". More on the former, later.

"Stanley..." is an impossible film. Not just because the synopsis would have struggled to go beyond three and a half lines, but because it was shot on a still camera, on real people, with the only equipment hired being Love and probably a tripod. At a time when films are shelved for 'lack of overseas investors' and when pre-production starts a year before shooting, 'Stanley' is a slap-in-the-face reminder of why people started making films. And also, of why we go to the movies.

The worst thing one could do to the picture is to call it a 'Children's film'. Amole Gupte, who wrote 'Taare Zameen Par' (and was at the helm of that film for the most part), does not have a brilliant idea that he had made into a film. There are no soundtracks that will soar in the charts. Hell, the climax is not even a surprise, considering you figure that part out by scene 3. But you lose yourself in the screen, right from the first scene because the world he recreates is one where you have been. And one, whose smells and sights you remember intimately.

Apparently, the film was shot only during the 'theatre workshop' periods on saturdays and everybody but the protagonist (Partho Gupte), was just sitting through a class while the film was shot. But how a film 'is made' should never decide how 'it is viewed'. The details on this one - the mafia don-ish air of the kid playing 'Aman Mehra', the searching nostrils of Amole Gupte playing the Hindi teacher (I could almost smell the pan he was chewing), the tilted sticker of 'Mother Mary' on the glass door and the 'tadka' on the dal, couldnt have been captured better on the most expensive Arriflex on earth. For once, I absolutely did not mind the noisy kids inside PVR Saket or their squeaky shoes. In fact, it was a refreshing change to see such a long queue of boys and girls lining up for popcorn!

Watch this film, not because you were a fan of 'Children of Heaven', not because you support independent film, not because you want to take your child to a film without item numbers - but because this is the purest transition of an idea from heart to celluloid, that you will see in a while.

PS: Dont miss:
1. The opening animation of 'Amole Gupte Cinema'
2. Divya Jagdale's brilliant portrayal, which is an ode to all science teachers in India!

Ode to the comic fan

2011-03-12T22:44:00.012-05:00

I first saw 'Unbreakable' when it was released in 2000, in a theatre in Brigade Road, Bangalore. I last saw it on TV yesterday. In between, I must have seen it at least 10 more times. Thats almost once every year, but I am still excited about it. Ironically, this is exactly how I feel about my superhero comics as well. I know exactly when Batman or Phantom or Bahadur is going to deliver the punch that'll put the villain out. Yet, I crave for it and feign the surprise that lets the goosebumps appear in key, pre-decided scenes of the comic. Surreal.

It was Shyamalan's absolute best as a writer and definitely up there as a director. It was also the time when the creator was always one step ahead of his audience - be it the climactic shock of 'The Sixth Sense' or the fantastic unraveling of 'Signs'. Far cry from the present, where he is huffing and puffing to catch up with his audience by the end of the first hour. Exhibit A: The simplistic 'Lady in the water' and the bizarre 'The Happening'. 'Unbreakable' though, is completely different from the rest of his cinema. Yes, it has the trademark 'shyamalan moment' at the end which hits you hard and 'ties it all together', but it is not a deceiving script that is written backwards from there. To borrow Elijah's (Samuel Jackson) words from the film, "This is a piece of art".

Some of this film's most powerful aspects are its smallest touches.

Like how all key moments in the film begin with a frame that is upside down - like how David Dunn's (Bruce Willis) son looks at the TV news reporting the accident of his dad's train, lying upside down on his couch. A brilliant metaphor for our askew perceptions.

Like how just the frames give David's character that super-hero shadow, though he is written as a regular guy. Five minutes into the film, you see the silhouette of David, standing inside the stadium with his regular raincoat on. Except the hood is exaggerated into a cape-like look; Even the name David Dunn has the same 'syllabic' ring to it as a Peter Parker or a Clark Kent.

But the most brilliant part of this film is how the character of Elijah is etched out. The absolute anti-thesis of a 'villain', because of his own frailty. Also the reason why every single scene that involves Elijah's character is associated with 'glass' as a metaphor. The opening scene of the film where Elijah's mother gives birth to him is almost entirely shot as a relflection on a mirror; The conversation between Elijah - the boy and his mother is shot as a reflection on a TV screen and he chooses David's car windshield to leave his note. And of course the more 'in your face' metaphor of his glass walking pole. When he announces to David in the last scene of the film "The kids. They used to call me Mr. Glass", you not just go through the 'Shyamalan moment', but also momentarily get nostalgic with all your favourite villains from Lex Luthor to Evelyn to The Joker.

The film also had some fantastic lines. There is a scene when Elijah asks David if he wakes up every morning with a 'feeling of sadness' and when David says 'yes', Elijah explains how that is because 'you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing'. That was a powerful line, one that everybody watching the film - comic fan or not, would remember and replay in their minds. I did, for a long time and I still do. In a scary, sentimental way, I even get what he means.

The film did not win any major awards, except from the Academy of Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror. It is not even top-of-mind among Shyamalan fans. But for me, it will always remain his best and probably the only film that ever married real life to the comic fantasy of our childhood.

of kings, freedom fighters and childhoods

2011-02-27T05:30:00.006-05:00

Weekends in the 80s were worth looking forward to for a few reasons - The prospect of He-Man on Sunday morning TV, followed by episodes of Mahabharat and 'Fairy Tale Theatre'; The hope of a long session of underarm cricket on the road in front; Weather permitting, even an hour or two on a bicycle hired by the hour. But nothing had us more excited than Dad coming home from work, carrying new issues of Amar Chitra Katha. The prospect of being transported to a whole new world through those colourful, graphic pages was and still remains overwhelming.

I have not known a childhood without ACK. So for me, it has been a grand parent, an encyclopedia, a friend and an oracle, all rolled into one! Those pages always had a way of breaking down profound revolutions, complex epics and mythological mysteries into simple rectangles of conversations that you would always understand and always remember.

Stacks of ACK was pure currency for a kid in the 80s. Worth much more than a pile of Enid Blyton or Hardy Boys or even notes from the science class. And definitely more trade-able than any of them. And come vacation, the most painful bit was to split your stack with your sibling. Of course in my case, it always helped to have a sister whose taste did not overlap with mine - mostly. She chose the Panchatantras and stories of Kings, while I chose the Mahabharata and the freedom fighters biographies. It of course never mattered that both of us have read every single comic, five times over. So the real fight was over the one thing that we both loved - The Jataka Tales. And till date, my favourite issue remains the fascinating tale of the entrepreneur who started off with a dead mouse.

Today, it pains my heart to see these books selling more as collector's items for thousands of rupees, in fancy bookstores, way out of the reach of a majority of this nation's kids. May be it is time to create a phone app to take it back to the masses? Or publish it in major newspaper publications as comic strips, in place of 'Beetle Bailey' or 'Peanuts'? Are you listening, India Book House?

It was only when news of Uncle Pai's death came out last week, that the enormity of what he has achieved finally dawned on me after all these years. On Twitter, I found people from three different generations recalling their childhoods memories reading ACK and Tinkle. How amazing is that? Three generations, whose knowledge of most-things-Indian, coming from the same source - a comic. I guess this tweet by Anand Ramachandran sums it all up for the rest of us.

The Jessica Lull and the Trivedi Storm

2011-01-07T23:06:00.010-05:00

The word french word 'Montage' is a beautiful term. In modern day film making, it refers to a combination of sound and visuals, edited together in a way that takes the narrative forward. It is the first thing that came to my mind while walking out of the theatre after watching 'No One Killed Jessica', because this film is as much Amit Trivedi's narrative, as it is Raj Kumar Gupta's - and that is high praise for any music director of a film, unless he/she is Andrew Lloyd Weber.

NOKJ is a foot tapping, adrenalin kicking, (supposedly) badass drama where the opening or climax is of little consequence to the viewer, as everybody knows what happened. Having said that, the film opens with an uber sexy credit sequence that is very original and fun. Right there, you know that this one has been 'crafted' and not just made. That feeling remains with you throughout the first half and that is thanks to some great casting, 'easy on the stomach' lines and 'easy on drama' scenes. Raj Kumar Gupta who gave us the Fabulous 'Aamir', obviously has learnt a trick or two from his 'Black Friday' days and wastes no time in getting over with the murder within the first 5 minutes. This is important because the Jessica Lal story (probably unfairly, but truly) is more about a nation's outrage, than the murder itself.

And I guess that outrage was what the second half was all meant to be. And for that, the writer's challenge was always going to be 'making the obvious, interesting'. And interesting it ends up being, but only because Amit Trivedi jams up a soundtrack that props the film up in many places in the second half in an almost 'Jacques Kallis'esque manner, even while everything else is crumbling around it. Case in point is when Rani's character confronts Vidya's in her house. Just when you are expecting the lines to crackle in arguably the most important confrontation in the script, the writer lets you down with some really ordinary stuff, completing a total KLPD. Cut to the candle light scene, but the audience is still bemused and fuming over the previous one. A few seconds later though, Amit Trivedi comes to the rescue, thundering over the candle march scene and voila - all is forgiven and the adrenalin is back.

What really works in the film is also its lighter moments - not just as relief from an otherwise emotionally draining subject, but also in bringing out the absurdity and irony of it all. There is a priceless scene in which the politician comes to Jesscia's house and after an uncomfortable silence, the dad asks 'chai?'.

Eventually in a film like this, I guess it all boils down to casting and that in my opinion is the best and worst things going for NOKJ. The guy who plays Jessica's dad and Rajesh Sharma as the cop are absolute gems. Rani looks like a million bucks in probably her best possible comeback film and I actually think she fits the bill perfectly as a renegade journalist. However, you can tell that the woman doesnt enjoy smoking or swearing and every time she is made to do it, you can almost see the gun next to her head. Vidya plays Sabrina like only she can and is great throughout. But I am not sure if her take on Sabrina works for the film entirely. Could it be because the audience is unable to contrast the never-ending restraint with any outburst of meaningful proportion?

There is a placard at the beginning of the film that says something like 'we have rolled all media into one entity'. That notwithstanding, it was still quite weird to see a Tehelka expose being called an NDTV sting. And the lack of any other journalists covering the case in the film gives it a slightly 'ghost town'ish feel. But then again, I guess it is that kind of a 'creative license' that also makes it possible to dramatize my all time favourite Sagarika-bashing episode on screen.

Disclaimer: My opinions about this film could have been completely influenced by the 'True Delhi experience' I was treated to at the theatre (PVR Saket) - complete with an unclaimed child running in the aisle with squeaky footwear, laughter at inappropriately emotional scenes and a loud couple in the row behind.

110 minutes

2010-11-05T13:09:00.008-05:00

I love early morning flights. The alarm, hot shower, the sleepy good bye hug, the Meru ride to the airport, empty sodium vapour-lit roads, the bright smile of the check-in lady, the lazy yawn of the x-ray guy, the fresh brew of coffee at the Jet Airways lounge and the phone buzzing constantly with emails from countries that are about to sleep and those who have just gotten to work - pleasant reminders that all is well with my world.

The coffee had just hit its spot when the public address system announced the departure of my flight. Gate 12. This means I have about eleven minutes before they closed the gate. A five minute walk to the gate means I have another six for the 'breakfast'. I begin to work my plate. Two of life's greatest mysteries:
1. How the chefs in Jet lounges across the country, manage to make the most wonderful coconut chutneys, but just cannot make a single soft idli.

2. Why are airline fruit bowls always made of papayas and pineapples and the sourest of grapes? Is there a papaya lobby?

Pondering these, I grab 2 water bottles, put one in my bag, open the other and walk towards gate 12, which is comfortably placed right next to the escalator.

There is a spring in my step because I know that after today's meeting in Mumbai, I am going on a week's vacation for Deepavali. This also means I have till end of the day to wrap up all 'work-related work'. So, the 2 and a half hours in the flight becomes very critical. Factoring in 40 minutes for take off and landing, I should have 110 minutes of quality time with my laptop. Even if I finish 50% of my to-do list, I will have a peaceful, non-pre-occupied vacation. That is the reason I am not carrying a book on this trip. I pat myself on the back for a wise decision and appreciate the relative lightness of my knapsack.

At the aerobridge, I do the customary 'Indian aerobridge twist' - a dance movement designed to show the guard your boarding pass and also the rubber stamp seal on the tag on your knapsack, in one fluid motion - crafted after years of practice. Remember Mallika Sherawat in 'Dasavatharam', bending down to show her rack and then twisting to jut her butt in your face? Now replace Mallika with me and a knapsack and you get the drift...

A couple of cabin-crew pleasantries later, I settle down into my usual seat. Now, there is a myth that there are only two classes in a domestic flight - business and (as Tharoor would put it) cattle class. That is a myth. There is a third 'Trishanku' class and that is the 'rear exit row reclining aisles' - quite a mouthful, but totally worth it! I am a man who is not particularly popular for doing things ahead of time, but over the years, I have come to appreciate planning for 'Trishanku' - because there are only two seats in this class (14C and 14D, if you are flying a 737) and you need to web check-in at least a day and a half before if you want to beat the other Trishanku-seekers.

What follows this is one of the main reasons I prefer to fly Jet or even fly, for that matter - The fresh lime juice. When it comes to my all time favourite liquids in the world, the Jet Airways fresh lime ranks in the top 5 - along with Kingfisher, the Big banyan Cabernet Sauvignon, the Kabaleeshwarar temple 'thulasi theertham' and water.

After savouring the last drop of it shamelessly, I get ready for the take off - which usually means a quick nap. As much as I appreciate my safety, I just cannot listen to another safety briefing again in life - even if it means that I will never again witness an attractive young woman, seductively put on a yellow mask, or even if this means that someday I will end up with a life jacket that I wouldn't know how to blow into, in some faraway ocean that is rapidly freezing my balls.

Cruising altitude, seat belt signs are off and I jump to open my bag and pull the laptop out. And that is when it hit me.

There is a sign on the bottom-right part of my screen which tells me the amount of battery left in my laptop. Over the years, this particular piece of information has become more valuable to my life than stuff like blood pressure, love, world peace or sex. And presently, it is showing 3% and that means I have just about 10 minutes left - evidently, I have forgotten to put the switch on, after plugging the laptop for charging last night.

Ladies & Gentlemen, at this point, I need to clarify what this means to me. Not that I would not be able to finish my backlog before my vacation begins. Not that I will be missing a crucial deadline with a client. More than any of these, I am now left with 110 minutes and nothing to do. Not a fuckin thing! I pull out the magazine from the seat jacket, only to find that it is the same issue with the cover story on Sikkim tourism that I have read so many times, that I can recite it as a poem. I did not carry the iTouch because it is 'unsocial' on a family vacation. No book. No newspaper as this is a Jet Konnect flight. No nap, as unfortunately I had a good night's sleep. The man to my left started snoring even before I boarded and so no scope for conversation.

My worst nightmare.

I try to close my eyes and think of something useful to do. The bladder isnt full and so a trip to the rest room will be pointless. Besides, they have just pulled the food trolley out and I wouldnt wanna wait behind it like a jackass. I briefly consider reading the safety instruction booklet and decide against it. It is funny how at 32, I am prepared for most things in life but not 'Nothing'. In fact, it is quite scary. What the fuck will I do if I am ever 85, on a wheel chair, presumably blind and without a liver and in all likelihood, stuck with an unattractive mallu nurse? How will I kill time? I make a mental note to buy a pistol and a bullet on my 50th Birthday.

Back to present. The customary co-pilot announcement! (Message to co-pilots: Dear retards, let me tell you a couple of things. Stop waking people up in the middle of their naps to tell them your cruising altitude. We dont give a rat's ass if you are flying at 30K feet or at 3 feet. We gave you loads of cash, so you can worry about this shit inside the cockpit and get me to my destination. And whats with the 'outside temperature' crap? Look around you. Do any of us look like we are about to open the door and take a walk in the clouds? Why the fuck should I care if the temperature outside is -25 degrees? )

Back at 14C, I am still awake and bewildered. I rearrange the contents of the seat jacket, dust off a spot on my trousers, uncross my legs and look at my watch again, hopefully. No luck - 70 minutes to go. Now I am seriously considering switching on my phone to play poker. My thoughts drift - wife, car, boss, obama, business idea, sachin, college hottie, deepavali...and magically, I relax. The to-do list fades into oblivion, the laptop gets stowed away, the legs gets stretched and I suddenly realize that I have not done this in a long time. I have not 'just sat down' and drifted along with my thoughts, without an agenda or a care, in a long long time. And boy it feels good. In fact, liberating! I indulge for a while and look at my watch again, reluctantly. No luck - it is landing time...

Kal-man chronicles - Part I

2010-09-26T00:10:00.027-04:00

Close

2010-08-21T01:10:00.010-04:00

2006 US Open. Round 2. It is past 10:00 PM and I am speeding in my '97 Avalon to Kiru's beautiful apartment in San Antonio. Home away from home. I have just realized that the match is still on. That means he's gotta chance. I knew that if this thing was going down to the fifth set, Andre's got it. I park, run up the stairs and settle into the most comfortable sofa in the world.

We watch the 5th set. What a set! Andre wins. He lives to fight another day. Typically Andre. That also means he is not retiring tonight. Phew!

He loses his third round match 2 days later and retires. Ironically, he loses to a kid called B. Becker.

Cut to: 1991

I am a 10th grader, living in Virugambakkam and watching the 1991 French Open final on Doordarshan. He loses to a freak called Jim Courier, who I end up hating. Being an Andre fan since childhood means that you hate his opponents - especially the ones who beat him in a Slam final. In Andre's case though, this is a long and growing list of people - Connors, Ivanisevic, Sampras, Courier, Martin and even that midget called Michael Chang. So I hated them all, growing up.

I am not sure what prompted my admiration for this guy to begin with. The Sportstar centre spreads? The rebellion? The return of serve? The double-handed backhand? or was it just the audacity of wearing denim shorts, ear rings and a pink shirt, for a French Open final??

But denim shorts go only a little far in a making an idol. What makes Andre my most favourite athlete is his ability to bounce back - not from the floor, but from deeper in the dungeons! My tennis coach at Loyola told me something on a fine summer morning in 1995, that I will never forget for the rest of my life - "Fitness is not running 1500 meters fastest. It is about how soon you recover from that 1500, to run another 400". And Andre was that guy who could run those 400s in real life (literally & figuratively) again and again and again.

That means being #1 and managing to go down to #132 and bouncing back to #1 and doing this shit all over again for over two decades. He was the most flawed perfection ever in Athletics!

When the girl friend gifted this book last year, the first thing that stuck me was - 'wow, that is a big close up on the cover!'. Why this rugged, disturbing picture? Why not the one with the 92 Wimbledon trophy? or one of those Aus Open moments? Or one from when he had hair? Or one with Stephanie?

The answer is quite clear after the very first page. This is as honest an autobiography as any you will ever read. This one is not for the gallery. This is all about the flaws, the quirks, the embarrassments and also the triumphs and the fun of it all.

If you are one of those tennis fans like me, who rooted for this guy for most of your teens and twenties, this book is a fascinating read. He takes you through all of it - right from when he won a hustling match against Jim Brown at age 7, till that marathon against Baghdatis in 2006 - His introduction to Pete as a kid with a flawed game, his Canon commercial, Nick Bollieteri, Wendi, Gil, Brad Gilbert, Brooke Shields (in very intriguing 2 chapters), Stephanie and of course the slams! The 8 he won and the million he lost.

I remember most of those slam finals. Strangely, I even remember what I was doing at the time, while watching it on TV. But now I also know what was going on the previous night, on match day, at the court, on the ground and inside his head! And that is much bigger and closer than any ball he might sign and lob at you!

Once upon a time in Mumbaai...

2010-07-31T15:07:00.004-04:00

These days, it is a cliche to say 'I love Mumbai during the monsoon'. Who doesnt? There is something about taking the 'black and yellow' taxi and driving around Juhu and Worli, with the high tiding ocean on one side and getting drenched through the broken rear window on the other. Let me not start on the late afternoon coffee, for I will never get to what I Really wanted to write about today.

'Once upon...' is a lot of fun. A few years back, I had sworn never to watch a Emraan Hashmi film and up until last night, I would not have believed you, had you told me that I would watch a Milan Luthria film in theatre. This is not just my kinda film. But watch I did and had a reasonably good time.

It is impossible to not like a song like 'Pee loon'. Something about the lines 'Let me drink in....for it is the season for drinking in' is very intoxicating. And Rahat Fateh Ali Khan's version of 'Tum jo aaye' is blissful.

I of course did end up squirming in my seat (something about the sofa seats at PVR make you squirm generally) multiple times during the film. It is impossible not to do so, when every line in the film is a 'punch dialogue' and said for the effect. Half hour into the film, you are desperately craving for a normal conversation. FYI, it doesnt happen until the end.

I just do not buy the fact that gangsters generally drink, smoke and play cards all day. I am pretty sure they have a life and may be even do other fun stuff! It was a technique that worked quite well in the 60s and 70s in bringing out the 'bad-ass'ness. Not anymore. It is hilarious to see Milan run out of ideas in engaging his characters and constantly letting them light cigarettes and breaking bottles for the effect.

And there are other things that put you off. But at the end of the day, it is impossible not to warm up to Ajay Devgn's swagger, the racey background score, the cuts (oh the cuts!) and the charm of the 70's Mumbai. I was especially surprised (pleasantly) by how much Randeep Hooda looked the part.

Disclaimers before the film notwithstanding, your own inner voices tell you this is Haji Mastan and Dawood - gangsters you and me loath in real life, being glorified on screen. But you just cannot quell the 'sense of history' as the film unfolds. For history doesnt differentiate between the good and the bad. There are only those who changed the world we live in.

Watch it. Like I said, it is great fun. I am glad I saw it in Mumbai and took the auto back, holding its 'leather parda' with one hand and still getting drenched a little in Mumbai's monsoon.... 'Drinking it in' and wondering if the stories shape this city or does this city shape her stories.

a film by Maniratnam

2010-06-19T00:24:00.007-04:00

I think it was 1987. One summer night, I lifted my head from my home work to see two see two men on television, talking in a strange Tamil-English tongue, about a national award their film received. I was just a kid, but even then I was quite militant about the correct pronunciation of my mother tongue. But something about these guys was very endearing and I remember going back to my homework, thinking that they were probably from a different state.

That was Mani Ratnam and GV, talking about 'Mouna Raagam'. I saw the film eventually after many years, on VHS. Thats how we normally watched film at the Nagarajan household. Going to a theatre was pretty close to a vice for a student and the only exceptions were Kamal Haasan and Balachander - our 'white list'. You see, my dad was regimental about his views on cinema, but he did have taste.

1987 was a strange year. I was in 6th Standard and my world was rapidly changing in front of my eyes. We lost the World Cup. I finished reading the best book ever written (I was quite convinced at that time!) - 'Detective Dog Ranjha'. I fell in love with Keerthana. I saw 'The Last Emperor' and decided I wanted to make films for a living. I scored my first 100% in Maths (It will also be the last time). Quite a year for a sixth grader, no?

The year was not quite done yet. On a stormy monsoon night, I came out of Devi theatre with tears in my eyes. Velu Nayakkar had just been killed. Both me and the skies were bawling. And my stone-hearted dad was pulling me along to the bus stand, with my mother and sister trailing. Dont these people have a heart? Such a good man has just been killed so needlessly and they want me to board a crowded 17A with water pouring in from every hole on its roof?

I have seen Nayakan about a million times after that and strangely, I was not surprised when Time magazine decided it had to be among the best 100 films on the planet.

I think The Ritual started about that time. My family did not miss watching a single Mani Ratnam film in theatre for many years after. He slipped in with ease into the white list. The Ritual usually began with me and my sister listening to the advertisements on All India Radio - the 30 mts slot that was sponsored every Sunday night at 8:30 PM. Later on in life, when the Nagarajan household became economically liberalized, we even started buying the soundtrack before hand and let Ilayaraja soak our senses in his symphonies.

Then came the posters. Ah what posters! Finally, a man who appreciated white. A man who understood that a poster is not about what you fill it with - It is about what you dont.

Then came the anticipation. During the bus rides to college, the morning run, minutes before u sleep and other times when you let your mind be. What is it gonna be like? How would be have shot this song? who is this new girl? why is this Madhu Ambat and not PC?

Then the film happened. The seat that was carefuly bargained for, with the box office assistant. The biscuits from home. And then the multiple emotions.

mmm...wow....what?...wow....huh!...mmm.

Then the reviews on Ananda Vikatan. And then, the hangover.

I am no more a 6th grader. I dont think Maniratnam will feature in my list of top five film makers. I have matured enough to hate him - some times. But he is an inseparable part of a generation of film goers. Their psyche and their taste. My psyche and my taste.

Even today, as I get ready to watch Raavanan in a couple of hours from now, I am living the ritual. And I know that a Maniratnam film is not measured in hours, but in weeks and months.

Inception...

2010-05-28T01:18:00.001-04:00

On a day when Apple overtook MS as the most valuable tech company in the World, here is the defining interview of The Two. I have probably seen this about 20 times in the last two years. It is still hair raising.

Wolfgang, you beauty!

2010-03-24T04:32:00.001-04:00

oh, and thanks Titan Industries ;)

Short put

2010-03-24T00:42:00.003-04:00

So Tharoor tweets...

ShashiTharoor

Naxalite KanuSanyal's suicide ydy confirms that violence&destruction hv never achieved anything positive.Wish RDB had been more constructive

really now? Kanu Sanyal led a very happy life of violence for over 3/4ths of a century. He was old, senile and unwell. And so decided to end his life at 82, as violently as he had lived it. How the fuck does this suddenly become an anti-violence message? The man must be turning in his grave ;)

How Manmohan Singh stole my burp from under my nose

2010-03-20T00:35:00.016-04:00

Mumbai is hot. Too hot for March. And too hot to be choosing your brand of soft drink in the middle of the day, under the unforgiving sun. You just drink what you get, first. In this mad rush between your dying throat and your out-reached hand, there is no time for thought. Not the least, for the story of how the bottle you are clutching, arrived into that refrigerator.

Get out of your house. Go to the nearest department store, put your head into their fridge, close your eyes, pick any bottle randomly and look at the label behind. If it does not read 'product of Pepsico or The Coca Cola company', you can take a flight to Delhi and cut my balls off.

It is not just your cola. It is your water, orange juice, mango, apple, lime, energy drink, your pack of chips and even your breakfast oats - most of these brands are all owned by one of these two cola companies. When I was growing up in the 80s, things were a bit different. There was this company in Vile Parle, making this absolutely stunning drink called Thums Up, with cool ads. This other company making 'campy' orange drinks and heck, I even had a local manufacturer making cola under the name of Kali. In other words, I had a fucking choice. And boy, I can still taste those solid burps after that first gulp of Thums Up in 'Abilash Bakeries' as a school kid.

Things changed after 1991. A man with a blue turban opened up the gates of the Indian market and 2 bulldozers came inside, muscling their way in with superior advertising budgets. The Indian companies obviously did not have deep enough purses and so they caved in. In what was one of the most baffling moves ever in Indian corporate history, Thums Up - the then market leader with an almost monopoly in the cola market, sold itself to Coke for a measly $60 Million. Far cry from today, where we are buying global steel and auto giants at roughly 75 times that price.

And what happened to my neighbourhood Kalimark? Those visionaries, who identified the power of rural India, decades before McKinsey did? It has been reduced to a company without a website.

I read this interesting piece the other day about how Pepsi and Coke are pulling out of schools. Now I have not done an extensive research to fully understand the quality practices of these two companies or judge them from an ethical or scientific perspective. But then I dont have to. If an organization like the Centre for Science and Environment, which has MS Swaminathan as its chair person tells me that there is more pesticide content in my bottle of Pepsi than in Obama's, then I have a problem. And if you tell me they are using 7 lakh litres of water a day per plant, when some families in my town cant manage 1 litre of clean water in a week, then I have a Big Fucking Problem.

But what foxes me is that even today, with consumerism at its peak in India, we do not have a mainstream soft drink player. Yeah, the Daburs of the World (read 'Real') still try, but lets not kid ourselves. Your neighborhood tea stall is more likely to stock 'limca' or 'nimbooz', than 'Real'. Why do we call it 'fair trade' when marketing muscle can beat innovation? Why do press releases by the CSE have a shorter life than a Ranbir Kapoor Pepsi ad? How come the press is more interested in Indira Nooyi's power than her pesticides?

I dont drink Thums Up these days, as the burp brings many disturbing pictures to my mind. In the mean time, the only guy who seems to get this drift and even find humour in it is Simbuthevan ;)

PS: Remeber the famous Andy Warhol quote? "A coke is a coke and no amount of money can get you a better coke than the one the bum in the corner is drinking. All the cokes are the same and all the cokes are good. Liz Taylor knows it, the President knows it and you know it". Really? mmm...

WTF moments of this week

2010-03-11T00:16:00.006-05:00

Read this interesting piece the other day about the academy awards jury. This is scary. You know which part? That a bunch of wheelchaired seniles warmed up to Brokeback Mountain, not long ago! Ah, proves my theory that we always underestimate old people.

Totally enjoyed another interrupted YouTube coverage of an IPL match. This time, slightly more because of the CSK win. However almost fell off my chair the next morning when I read Dada's comments. I have a question for him: Please explain to me the concept of 'death bowling' in a T20 match. With only 20 overs, isnt it more like a 'Death Match'? Whats next? calling the last ball of the inning a 'genocide ball' and that of the match 'the armageddon'?

And yes, how can you do a WTF segment without Mayawati! Read about the garland-gate yesterday. Cant help thinking it is probably up there among the funniest and the most ironic moments in Indian politics, especially coming after this press release. Ofcourse, the saddest tragedy of it all is that we can never be a caste-free nation, with people like her around. And most dont realize that.

Anyway, while on WTF, did anybody see that really annoying Hero Honda CBZ ad? The one where the guy says 'Thinking is such a waste of time'? If that doesnt go off air in the next few days, I think India might lose interest in motorcycles altogether. and more people like me would puke during supper. PIL anyone?

3 idiots and 2 hoots

2010-01-04T00:09:00.013-05:00

I read an absolutely exhaustive account on the Chetan Bhagat controversy yesterday by Sudish Kamat. Whether you are a Hirani basher or a CB hater or a fence sitter, I strongly recommend you read this. It kinda answers the million dollar question of last week - What percentage of 3i is FPS? If you care two hoots, that is.

Honestly, you needn't.

BTW, The film is absurd at multiple levels. There is a priceless moment, which goes something like this:

Rancho: you miss your mom, no?

Pia: yes, but how did you know?

Rancho: you are wearing an old watch that is completely out of place with the rest of your attire. so it must have been a gift from your dead mom

Thats got to be the best sherlock-mush moment in World cinema history. The film also has other duh moments like man leaving home without pants, almost-dead baby waking up to a word it kinda liked from inside the womb, hero getting his girl in the end, caricature professor gags, etc. It can come across as seriously hare-brained. if you care two hoots about 'analytically reasonable' cinema that is.

But honestly, you needn't.

Coz 3 idiots is not about adaptation, finer film making, performances, etc. It is a glimpse into 'The World According to Raju Hirani' and that is an extremely warm and beautiful place that we all love to spend time in. You can have a thousand discussions regarding the book vs film but ultimately, the spirit of the film is all Hirani. And you cannot credit him enough for that.

3i will probably end up being a film that will be acclaimed and loved mostly for reasons that do not have much to do with the craft of film making. However, it does have a soul that rises from the screen and gives you a tight hug. And this, it does without 3D!

There are some fantastic moments in the film. Sadly though, some of the funniest ones have been roped into the promos. For me, the most priceless one was the operatic score that Virus shaves to, which works brilliantly in the scene when Sharman contemplates his choice between rustication and betrayal and jumps out of the window. That entire scene is as simple and hard hitting as a Haiku poem.

Then there is the scene when Rancho completes the helicopter project of Joy and flies it. When the camera hops from Chatur's room (where he is seen in his funky underwear) to Joy's (where his dead body is hanging), the theatre moves from erupting laughter to dead silence, in a matter of seconds. Coming at the end of a song, the effect is dramatic. All the news that you read about real life IIT suicides come back to you at that instant, as you realize that this scene is not an exaggeration by any means.

And then there is Sharman. He reminds me of good old Michael Bevan. Hardly the centre point of the hype surrounding the movie, this actor delivers a performance that deserves the man-of-the-match award. While he shines through the entire film, the interview scene is an absolute peach.

In the early 90s, when I walked out after watching 'Apoorva Sagotharargal', the biggest question in my mind was: fine, you can look shorter. but how does one 'act' shorter? I had a similar question while watching the hospital scene in 3i. How can an actor be so aware of his facial muscles, that he can use them to deliver a youngish grin? But I forget we are talking about two thespians who have mastered the art. The latter ofcourse has also mastered his business skills, which the former continues to struggle in.

Madhavan is too good an actor for his role and Boman can sleep walk through this part. In fact, we have come to expect so much from Boman, that even his excellent subtleties have started to come across as normal. Even then, he hits hard with the 'space-pencil' scene towards the end.

At the end of it, for me 3i is a triumph of superior screen writing. Hirani and Abhijat have created something that is resonating with almost everybody who has seen the film. And only those who have put 'pen on paper' or 'finger on keyboard' can imagine how hard that is. And for that reason alone, it is ironic that this film has run into a writing controversy. Anyway, as far as I am concerned, the lasting image of the film in my mind would be this:

remember seeing this in the film?

The only Thamizh film I am looking forward to! ;)

2009-12-28T04:26:00.001-05:00

Kerala Cafe

2009-12-10T01:15:00.011-05:00

Dear Anwar Rasheed,

I hope you are doing great. And why wouldn't you be. You have just made a film like no other. I want to let you know that it has been more than a week now since I saw 'Bridge', and I still cannot get it out of my mind.

When I went to the theatre on that Friday night with family and a friend to watch 'Kerala Cafe', I had bargained for different cinema. I had bargained for 10 short films. For the kind of story telling that has endeared me to Malayalam cinema over the last two decades. I had bargained for 2-3 good ones out of the 10. I had even bargained for a bunch of films that would reflect the rot that has set into Malayalam cinema of today.

What I did not bargain for, was a bulldozer of a movie to hit me head on and change the way I would look at cinema forever. I had not prepped for that and I was not ready. May be thats why I dont remember much about the 3 films that were screened after 'Bridge'.

It was the second movie after intermission I think and I had just taken another big swig from my cold coffee, when I noticed a peculiar opening shot of the camera panning down from a height, closing in on a school boy in a red hood, running on a bridge, clutching a pendant. Even in those few seconds, I could tell that this was a different kind of film. And over the next ten minutes, I did not move. I just sat there, taking in frame after frame of meticulous composition, cuts that blended with my pulse, performances that brought a lump to my throat and a music score that went straight to my head.

I did not know that it was your film, Anwar. Even after the end credits, as they were in Malayalam. And when I googled the film later on and saw your name, I was shocked. Because I always associated you with a horrible film you once made called 'Rajamanikyam'. Mmm...how we judge a book by the fist few pages!

Anyway....It is difficult to review your film Anwar, as I still have not recovered from it. May be I'll be able to do it in a month or so. But suffice it to say that it was one of the finest I have ever seen on the silver screen.

Thanks for rekindling my fires. Thanks for making me fall in love with Cinema all over again.

Ant & the Elephant

2009-11-18T23:02:00.016-05:00

Do you like mysteries? Is there a King Solomon or an Indiana Jones hiding inside you? Is your favourite book "Treasure Island"? Have you ever contemplated Sudoku over Sex? Did you like Nicholas Cage better in "National Treasure" than "Leaving Las Vegas"?

If you answered 'yes' to at least 3 of the questions above, pack your bags, book a Kingfisher Red and relocate to Bengaluru. This is your kinda place.

wanna know why?

Bengaluru is a book of mysteries waiting to be solved. Take her roads for example. Road names are the best kept secrets in this city. You could be at the junction of 4 major roads, but there might not be a single fuckin sign telling you which is which. Moments that bring out the Sherlock in you - in every walk or drive. Magical!

Or consider the traffic signs. What is, is never what it seems to be. Take this sign for example.

What do you think it is? No Turn? That may be the right answer from 100 mts away, but as you draw closer.....

Voila! Welcome to Neverland! Its a 'No Free Turn' sign. Subtext, My Dear Watsons!! Those finely painted white letters that are visible only when you are 2 feet from the sign!

If you think it is all about just magic tricks, think again. Bengaluru also respects history. You might find a million cities in India that are modeled on Paris and Rome - stupid white-ass licking wannabes! Why look outside for inspiration when you have so much history & tradition in our own country? Bengaluru is the one and only, patriotically inspired city of our times. It is modeled exactly after Harappa & Mohenjadaro. The most striking similarity is the drainage. Just like those twin cities, Bengaluru has adopted an approach of having open gutters running along roads, for miles together. Be it the airport road or the more populous church road. Even the unbearable stench will not deter the city from its single-minded goal of following history. Bravo!

Puzzles! Did I mention them? Oh they are wonderful. Take a traffic light for example. In normal cities, you will have road signs before you cross the signal, so you choose your route. What a nonsensically boring thought! But Bengaluru is different. The signs are on the other side of the signal and so small that by the time you are close enough to reading it, you have already crossed the signal, made your decision and committed yourself to a road. Just by this one bright idea, Bengaluru makes every single commute an eventful journey that you will never forget in one lifetime.

If that doesnt excite you, there is more. Did you know that there is only one road in India, where you have to drive on the right? I will let you in on a secret - It is right outside the Garuda mall. Keep your eyes open, o' traveller, coz there are no signs and you might miss it. And if you do and keep driving on the left, you might just get mowed down by a truck and you will miss all the magic! And that would be tragic!

Oh, I can go on for another 10 days, but I would'nt want to break the surprises to you. They are meant to be enjoyed in person. So travel, one and all!!! and make that journey of a lifetime.

How did it all start? Most people say that the city became a wonderland only after corporates invaded it in the last decade. I dont know about that. I just like to think of Bengaluru as this lucky ant that a huge elephant made love to. A love that continues to charm the Ant.

The magic of cinema

2009-11-12T08:46:00.010-05:00

This is an excerpt (My most favorite part) from the book "Conversations - Walter Murch & the Art of Editing Film" by Michael Ondaatje - author of The English Patient. It is long & calls for TREMENDOUS patience, but trust me, it is totally worth it.

(FYI, Walter Murch is the first guy ever to have been credited for 'Sound Design' and he is the editor of films like Godfather - I, II & III, Apocalypse Now, THX 1138, English Patient, Talented Mr. Ripley, Conversations & Unbearable Lightness of Being).

Murch: There's a great game--I forget whether we've talked about it--Negative Twenty Questions?

Ondaatje: No, we haven't talked about it.

Murch: It was invented by John Wheeler, a quantum physicist who was a young graduate student of Niels Bohr's in the 1930s. Wheeler is the man who invented the term "black hole". He's an extremely articulate proponent of the best of twentieth-century physics. Still alive, and I believe still teaching, writing.

Anyway, he thought up a parlour game that reflects the way the world is constructed at a quantum level. It involves, say, four people: Michael, Anthony, Walter, and Aggie. From the point of view of one of those people, Michael, the game that's being played is the normal Twenty Questions--Ordinary Twenty Questions, I guess you'd call it. So Michael leaves the room, under the illusion that the other three players are going to look around and collectively decide on the chosen object to be guessed by him--say, the alarm clock. Michael expects that when they've made their decision they will ask him to come back in and try to guess the object in fewer than twenty questions.

Under normal circumstances, the game is a mixture of perspicacity and luck: No, it's not bigger than a breadbox. No, you can't eat it....Those kinds of things.

But in Wheeler's version of the game, when Michael leaves the room, the three remaining players don'tcommunicate with one another at all. Instead, each of them silently decides on an object. Then they call Michael back in.

So, there's a disparity between what Michael believes and what the underlying truth is: Nobody knows what anyone else is thinking. The game proceeds regardless, which is where the fun comes in.

Michael asks Walter: Is the object bigger than a breadbox? Walter--who has picked the alarm clock--says, No. Now, Anthony has chosen the sofa, which is bigger than a breadbox. And since Michael is going to ask him the next question, Anthony must quickly look around the room and come up with something else--a coffee cup!--which is smaller than a breadbox. So when Michael asks Anthony, If I emptied out my pockets could I put their contents in this object? Anthony says, Yes.

Now Aggie's choice may have been the small pumpkin carved for Halloween, which could also contain Michael's keys and coins, so when Michael says, Is it edible? Aggie says, Yes. That's a problem for Walter and Anthony, who have chosen inedible objects: they now have to change their selection to something edible, hollow, and smaller than a breadbox.

So a complex vortex of decision making is set up, a logical but unpredictable chain of ifs and thens. To end successfully, the game must produce, in fewer than twenty questions, an object that satisfies all of the logical requirements: smaller than a breadbox, edible, hollow, et cetera. Two things can happen: Success--this vortex can give birth to an answer that will seem to be inevitable in retrospect: Of course! It's the ----! And the game ends with Michael still believing he has just played Ordinary Twenty Questions. In fact, no one chose the ---- to start with, and Anthony, Walter, and Aggie have been sweating it out, doing these hidden mental gymnastics, always one step ahead of failure.
Which is the other possible result: Failure--the game can break down catastrophically. By question 15, let's say, the questions asked have generated logical requirements so complex that nothing in the room can satisfy them. And when Michael asks Anthony the sixteenth question, Anthony breaks down and has to confess that he doesn't know, and Michael is finally let in on the secret: The game was Negative Twenty Questions all along. Wheeler suggests that the nature of perception and reality, at the quantum level, and perhaps above, is somehow similar to this game.

When I read about this, it reminded me acutely of filmmaking. There is an agreed-upon game, which is the screenplay, but in the process of making the film, there are so many variables that everyone has a slightly different interpretation of the screenplay. The cameraman develops an opinion, then is told that Clark Gable has been cast in that part. He thinks, Gable? Huh, I didn't think it would be Gable. If it's Gable, I'm going to have to replan. Then the art director does something to the set, and the actor says, This is my apartment? All right, if this is my apartment, then I'm a slightly different person from who I thought I was: I will change my performance. The camera operator following him thinks, Why is he doing that? Oh, it's because... All right, I'll have to widen out because he's doing these unpredictable things. And then the editor does something unexpected with those images and this gives the director an idea about the script, so he changes a line. And so the costumer sees that and decides the actor can't wear dungarees. And so it goes, with everyone continuously modifying their preconceptions. A film can succeed in the end, spiralling in on itself to a final result that looks as if it has been predicted long in advance in every detail. But in fact it grew out of a mad scramble as everyone involved took advantage of all the various decisions everyone else had been making.

...and

2009-11-11T10:23:00.002-05:00

And just like that, the film decides that it is time to get made. And I thought I had something to do with the 'when' and 'how' of it. Duh.

one liners...

2009-10-25T00:32:00.004-04:00

Its one of those Sunday mornings when you are generally looking around for something to sink your teeth in. This thing on TV might have just done it for me, I think ;)

So this HP commercial goes "Hi I am Sid and I love music". That just cracks me up. I mean...someone is actually getting paid to come up with a line like "I love music"?

"Hi, nice to meet you. So what do you do for fun?"

"I love Music!"

"Sure, mate. How about that 'breathing' thing? Thats also pretty cool, no?"

While on annoying one-liners, there is the Ms. Alcohol Saint. You run into these characters in most parties.

"Hi, nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?"

"oh no, thanks. I get high on life"

Feisty! Note she doesn't just say "I dont drink, thanks". No way! - that would be self-deprecating. And worse, would just answer the question. You gotta be more elaborate than that. You gotta have a STORY behind your teetotaling.

"Hi, nice to meet you. Can I get you a drink?"

"oh no, thanks. I get high on life"

"Thats just so sad, sweetie. Out here, we get high on life AND alcohol. na nana na na!"

Another oft-spotted-party-species is Mr. DadINeverHad. These guys usually are the hosts.

"Alrite, chief. I think we will head home now. Thanks for having us. Good night"

"Oh it is so late. Please call and let me know you guys reached OK".

Now folks, I have had quite a few late nights in my life and met many Mr. DadINeverHads. And given the limited capabilities of my memory, I almost always forget to make 'that' call. I just find it strange that none of 'em have ever called me back, or come out looking for me or filed a police complaint, or even complained of losing sleep that night.

"Alrite, chief. I think we will head home now. Thanks for having us. Good night"

"Oh it is so late. Please call and let me know you guys reached OK"

"Sure. And you call me when Rakhi Sawant cracks mensa".

Mirror mirror on the floor...

2009-10-21T12:08:00.008-04:00

ITC Grand Central Hotel. Mumbai. Circa 2009.

For the 25th time this year, I enter the hotel in a cab. Three well built men, dressed in imposing black uniforms stop me, just like they have stopped me 24 times before. The least beefy among them walks slowly towards the car and inserts this mirror-on-wheels under the chassis and observes attentively. Convinced that there is nothing else but rotting auto parts there, he then turns to the other gentleman, who by now has his head inside the trunk. The head comes out unhurriedly and gives the less-beefy man a reassuring nod. Relieved that I am not out to harm humanity, they let my car proceed.

Surely, if I want to blow up ITC Grand Central, I will dress up in a business suit, pack loads of explosives under my chassis (exactly where it will be visible in the mirror) or just throw them in my trunk (for extra leg-room in the back seat), patiently wait for the inspection to be over (front & back!), so that I can then get on with blowing myself up.

Surely.

PS: But in a sagging economy, to think that this has given jobs to roughly a million people nationwide who are doing this day-in day-out - a masterstroke!

and yes, not to mention the 'impenetrable' security this is giving our hotels...

Venky

2009-10-09T01:20:00.008-04:00

Venkatraman Ramakrishnan is a pioneering scientist. Am sure his body of work will someday affect my granddaughter's protein consumption.

So what is interesting about Venky?

He has a name that is made up of four god's names (with one receiving unfair advantage of a repetition). A pretty defiant name, me thinks - considering he comes from a city where traditionally all of these 3 gods were despised. In short - a possible vaishnavite from the saivite capital.

Dont dig that trivia? cool. So what else is interesting about Venky?

He left India in 1971. Roughly 6 years before I was born. 'So what about that?', I hear you ask. 'An entire generation of educated, upwardly mobile Indians left the shores in those days'. True.

So what else is interesting about Venky?

He came back to India about 7-8 times (to teach in IISc, charity, etc). Thats coincidental! Thats about the same number of times I have gone to Vegas - for charity, again. Dont trust me? Ask the number of casino workers who got a raise that year, thanks to the money I lost on the poker table.

So what else is interesting about Venky?

'Dude, he got the nobel'. Remember the award instituted by the guy who invented dynamite? (Yeah yeah, the same guy who refused to institute an award for Mathematics, because his wife ran away with a math teacher). I often wonder how the guy who invented the dynamite can give away an award for peace, but I digress. Lets get back to Venky.

So what about Venky's nobel?

Nothing. Just that it is weird that the Indian media is celebrating. 'Why not yaar? he was born in chidambaram, he studied in vadodara and what the heck? he is brown!!!'. OK. ok. ok.

what? what was that? did i hear you call me a jealous bastard? well, may be I am. But I still think it is weird that we are celebrating. Some asshole even had the headline "Venky is India's pride".

Fuck you.

The man left India almost 40 years back. He left because there was nothing this country could offer for his development. And he did not come back because he could not do what he wanted to do, here. In other words, he abandoned this place for something better. Dont get me wrong, I think he is a very nice guy and a wise one at that. And 'smart', obviously - he got the dynamite prize, remember?

So call him that. Smart, wise and nice. Dont call him India's pride. Coz this award doesnt tell you what we did. It tells you what we couldnt. And cannot, still.

Eeram

2009-09-17T23:37:00.007-04:00

The thing about 'Eeram' is that for more than 3/4ths of the film, the director is continuously screaming to you from behind the screen - 'see how different I have made this frame look?', 'see how logically I have connected these scenes?'. This almost kid-like enthusiasm is very palpable at the other side of the screen. Clearly, this is a man who has put everything he has got into his first film.

I read a few reviews talking about inspiration from 'what lies beneath' and 'dark water'. I havent seen the latter and the former was forgettable anyway. Honestly, I dont think it matters because the script itself is a very trivial part of this film, in my opinion. What 'Eeram' has achieved is to create one of the sleekest films ever in this language. And that is something.

In the age of Vijay and Sundar. C (2 guys who have single (double, actually) handedly killed tasteful cinema in Tamil), the things you yearn for as a fan are: that refreshingly creative frame, or that momentarily intelligent line, or that realistic make-up.....just any semblance of proof that the creator really had a flame burning inside him and that he did not merely go through motions.

There is a pretty ordinary scene in the film, where a bunch of police officers meet in a swank conference room and discuss a suicide in an apartment (forget the fact that it is ludicrous to conceive that the entire police force in a city will sit together in a conf room to discuss a solitary death). However, the scene opens with a close-up of a glass of water with a coaster on top of it, and the cops in the background. Beauty! It is scenes like these that make 'Eeram' an important film in Tamil cinematographic history.

Of course the real protagonist of the film is water and she has never looked so good on screen before! Be it while overflowing from a tub or while splashing onto a face in slow motion or just dripping from the edge of an iron gate or just settling down a glass window as a condensing mist. The ubiquitous blue tone of the film that is occassionally broken with scenes in a full color pallete is just a master stroke!

I googled Manoj Paramahamsa - the cinematographer and he seems rather new. But boy, what a talent! Watch 'Eeram' for this man's work and also for Arivalagan's creative bursts.

Like I said, the script isnt important, though it is not bad at all. My only peeve with it is, like all ghost stories, this one is also based on revenge. Makes me think...wouldnt it be fun if someone came up with a different kind of a ghost motive? like say a ghost that wants to play cricket or one that wants to run in an election? Thats for another day, I guess...

gig

2009-09-09T14:47:00.010-04:00

There was this boy, who grew up in Virugambakkam - a suburb which isnt quite driving distance from Dublin, Ireland - home to 4 punks, who will end up entertaining him like nobody or nothing else.

Cut to the early 90s and the boy catches this music video, where the 4 punks are playing on top of a building, in the middle of a crowded street. That kinda does it. Boy pciks up 'Joshua Tree', swears that is the best album ever, pledges life-time allegience to the band and includes their concert into his 'bucket list'. Like most things on that list, he never really expects it to happen (though he fancied his chances on "No:4 - sleeping with cindy crawford").

Cut to the later 90s and the band comes up with 'Zooropa' and 'Pop', arguably two of the worst albums of the time and definitely their crappiest pieces of work (I mean, 'discotheque'? really???). A 'duh' feeling creeps in and suddenly the boy doesnt think much of the band anymore.

Out of the fuckin blue, in year 2000, band comes up with a supernatural album called 'All that you can't leave behind' and (in Bono's words) 're-applies for the job of the best band in the World'. And how! They go straight back to his bucket list and right on top! (the encumbent no:1 is 'checked' when Roger waters decides to visit Bengaluru)

Years later, one fine day in July 2009, he decides to blow away his entire bank balance on a trip to Paris. No points for guessing who is playing there at that time! All plans are made and he is waiting with bated breath. 48 hours before take off, in a manner only he is capable of, he damages his passport. That ugly 'blue and gold' booklet that has seen him around the globe for more than 9 years has decided to call it a day. Just like that!

Cut to the next week and he finds himself in the middle of a human ocean on the day of the concert. Only, its not the "Stade de France", but something similar nevertheless - Shastri Bhavan on Haddows road. The place where thousands of fans come together annually, to impress Mr. Mohammed - the chief passport officer, who holds the key to their international future. This is the "Great Indian Passport Trick", which includes:

Getting about a 1000 people to sweat profusely in the summer heat outside
Packing them into a 20X20 room with no ventilation
Ignoring the stinking latrnine without a door nearby
Maintaining your place in a queue that gets shuffled every nano second
Putting up a 'sorry sir, I wont do it again' face while facing the officer in charge and most importantly,
Keeping your forms dry through all this.

Why is our man here? He finds out that his band is playing again, in a few days in Amsterdam. Now if he applies that day, he could get his new passport soon (provided he kisses a few asses (well!) and scores with the 'wont do it again' face), get his visa stamped sooner, take a cheap flight to Paris, take a REALLY expensive train to amsterdam, make it on time and hope that the hotel guys have kept his ticket safely. Phew!

Did it happen? Not quite the same way, but yes! Was it worth it? fuck yeah!

Ladies & gentlemen, U2!

No: 1 - See a U2 concert before kicking the bucket. Check!

Miracle

2009-08-28T11:31:00.003-04:00

Its amazing how so many things come together exactly right, to create that one magical scene.

Long live the King

2009-06-25T21:35:00.011-04:00

His, was the first tape I ever bought, when I was 10. I was walking around outside my Mom's office, looking at peddlers and was intrigued by a cassette cover with the word 'Bad' on it and the picture of a man with a funny hat.
His 'Thriller' was, is and will always be the best album I will ever lay my hands on
He redefined the phrase 'music video'.

He will always be the most under-rated song writer. He once told Larry king in a show forty years ago, when he was a kid in Jackson 5 -"wont sing it if I dont mean it".
He was only pop. But probably the only pop 'name' that has been/is/will be cool to 'drop', be it at a rock gig in Wembley, or on the jazzy Bourbon street in New Orleans, or a hip hop basement in NY. Oh screw it! He was even cool in Thiruvaiyyaru and Shanti Niketan!
He did not re-define 'pop' culture. He WAS the pop culture.
And I was looking at the July tickets last night...

Now listening!

2009-06-24T14:47:00.001-04:00

10 things you remember about the december season 6 months later!

2009-06-14T14:01:00.011-04:00

10. The 'double decker idli' - a rage at Mylapore fine arts! they actually cook two idlis fused in the middle with chutney!! (am waiting for Stem cell idlis next!)

9. Kanimozhi sitting in the last row of rickety chairs, listening to a Sudha Ragunathan gig

8. The 12B bus that would announce its presence promptly at 8:30 PM everyday, with a blaring electronic horn that was louder than......everything!

7. The horn on that particular night, which blended so well with a 'thodi' flourish of T.M.Krishna, that he had to pause momentarily to chuckle

6. The emergence of T.M.Krishna as the undisputed superstar of the season.

5. The new pocket-sized ready reckoner on krithis and their ragas, which was the most read book in all of Mylapore in December and January

4. T.N. Seshagopalan's Tamil diction that made proper Tamil 'keerthanai's sound like chaste Hebrew

3. The 'sometimes cocky', but 'perennialy indecisive' mylapore fan, who could not make up his mind on 'exit' strategies and invariably would get up to leave in the middle of a rocking 'thaniyavardhanam', as though it was channel music!

2. Akkarai Shubalakshmi, who dominated on the violin so much that lead performers were reduced to 'support vocalists'!

1. Aruna sairam, who continues to belittle U2 in concert showmanship!!

Give me back my shoe

2009-04-08T02:58:00.003-04:00

Once, I was stuck in uptown Vegas without a cab and had to hitch my way back to the city. Unfortunately for me, the chap who offered me a ride was a pimp. For the 20 odd minutes that I spent in his 'bling' car, I dont think he finished a single sentence without mentioning his 'bunch' and how I should give him a call sometime.

I am often reminded of him this month, thanks to this hilarious news channel called CNN IBN. It is about time someone recognized IBN's efforts in the genres of comic humour and a weird kind of media prostitution. Lemme explain:

In IBN speak, when terrorists attack Mumbai, you have to call it "India's 9/11" (dd/mm mismatch notwithstanding!)

When the Mumbai police arrests a father for raping his daughter, he has to be referred to as "India's Josef Fritz"

And when Janrail singh throws a shoe at Chidambaram......you guessed it - "Shoe-gate!!!!!!"

Am not sure if Nixon is gonna turn in his grave for that, but I definitely think this is unfair. Come on....after spending an insane amount on a flat screen TV and a Tata Sky package with 'news', the least I deserve is my own personal, national shoe incident! No?

Attack of the 'Adigaprasangi' Kids

2009-04-03T02:27:00.002-04:00

Run for cover! They are everywhere - these perfectly normal looking 3-5 year olds, who have been spotted telling on their moms through a toy phone, offering life insurance advice to dads, washing tips to moms and switching on stadium lights to fool an apartment full of parents, among other things.

Phew! whatever happened to good old bikini-model style advertising? Does anybody hear me?

The spectacle spectacle!

2009-03-06T13:00:00.013-05:00

'Hey Ram' is one of the finest films ever made in India. More than the beautifully layered script or the fantastic shots, what really hits you is the honesty of that script. The movie ends with the protagonist picking up Gandhi's glasses and sandals after he is shot, which his grandson gives to Tushar Gandhi in the last scene. A beautifully fictitious ending that is almost poetic. It was also not very far from reality.

In the 1930s, Gandhi gifted his glasses to an Indian army colonel. His 1910 Zenith watch went to his grand niece and his sandals were gifted to a British army officer in 1931, before the London talks. In the last 79 odd years, no Tom Dick Harry or Anne Susan Mary gave a rat's ass about the location of these memorabilia.

Like all memorabilia do, they reached the hands of a collector who wanted to auction it (Except in this case, the guy - James Otis is a dickhead). News breaks out about the auction and all of a sudden, blood is boiling, people are disturbed, patriotism reaches feverish proportion and everybody wants the auction stopped. In what fuckin joy ? If not for the piece of news in BBC, would any of these self proclaimed patriotic psychos even know about the existence of these things? I dont think so. And pray tell what is so wrong with any of this being auctioned anyway? Its an auction - a place where people 'value' stuff. Far cry from the godforsaken museums back home.

And did I mention James Otis is a dickhead? The joker actually has the balls to go on record asking the Indian Government to serve its 'poor' people in return for his stupendous kindness in giving the stuff back for free. And the neurotic Indian news channels dont get it. They keep interviewing the jackass for his demented sound bytes.

Enter Mallya. The dude walks in, bids the bid, closes the lid on the damn thing and gets the PR that he righfully deserves. What do the rest of them have to say now? The government is stumped - its completely ineffective and unimaginative effort has been exposed. Ambika soni is looking for a calm place to bury her head. And the know-it-all Mr. Ramachandra Guha is busy telling television stations that it is a shame that a liqor baron had to save the teetotalling 'Mahatma's' belongings. Fuck you.

All I have to say in the matter is this: Every buck that I have spent in this lifetime on countless kingfisher pints, is money well spent! Somebody pat me!!

....and cheers to that ;)

the unsaid

2009-02-25T21:03:00.002-05:00

Dileep was born a hindu. He converts to Islam, bags an academy award and says glory be to god.

Resul is a muslim. Talks about the significance of 'OM' in his acceptance speech and says on TV that his award is a 'Mahashivarathiri' gift to all malayalees.

Jai Ho, India ;)

Dog days

2009-02-03T22:28:00.012-05:00

You know the feeling when you suppress something for an awfully long time and eventually let go? No am not talking about Ramalinga Raju, but my December and January. 4 intriguing films, an entire concert season and 3 weeks on Mumbai and Delhi roads meant there were tonnes to tell....but its amazing how awfully hard it is to get the internet, time and 'state of mind' - all in the same room, so you can write the hell out of it. Nevertheless, its good to be back!

There is a scene in Slumdog, where the boys look through the key hole of the brothel room and see young Latika's torso twirling to a kathak movement, illuminated by a thin light beam. At that instant, it hit me that Boyle has crossed the rather thick line between 'a film on India' and 'an Indian film'.

Its amazing how a film with lines as cheesy as "I thought we will meet only at death", "I love you....so what?", "the slumdog barks", "is this heaven" and "my enemy's enemy is my friend" actually made it to so many festivals and awards (the red carpet has been rolled out at the kodak theatre as I write). But when you really think about it, it is quite a smart film.

'Subtitle' is among the worst things that ever happened to cinema (just behind George Clooney as Batman) and Danny gave it an interesting twist in Slumdog when he decided to have it beside the character and not at the bottom of the screen - its traditional home, where for decades it has been stealing viewers' eyeballs from beautiful frames. Its a small and stupid thing, but boy it worked.

'City of God', 'Amores Perros' and 'Malena' were in the native tongue. The characters did not have an accent and nobody found it odd in Latin America. They were landmarks in cinematic history, but more people would watch Slumdog Millionaire.

'Salaam Bombay' or 'City of Joy' would never make it to any list of popular films, though they are essentially the same DNA as slumdog. Only that Boyle decided to almost make it a series of music videos on arguably Rahman's most neo and experimental album till date. The opening police chase, the escape, the brilliantly shot train sequence....nice!

The rioters are on the other side of the railway platform and the kids are playing in the water. It is a shot from Jamal's POV as the boy plunges into the water and gets up. As he rises, the audio goes muffled like as though water went into the ears of the camera. Resul deserves a sound oscar just for those 15 seconds!

I saw another film on the underbelly of India last week, called 'Naan Kadavul' (That one needs a blog by itself). More morbid, more disturbing and even more honest. It had real people and not actors, but the tone was so mellowed down that it did not really get you out there. Whereas with SM, you could almost feel the heat and the dust. May be rightfully enough, they have just handed over the best cinematography oscar to it. Just that I cannot believe that an effort like Dark Knight would miss out....IMAX and all ;)

But the lasting image for me from the film, more than a month after seeing it is the frame of Rubina Ali....dusty, sweaty and heavenly, under a sodium vapour lamp.

The travels of my shaving cream...

2008-11-29T03:12:00.012-05:00

Even as I write this, Burkha Dutt is writhing in orgasmic fervor on the TV screen in front of me. Revelling in the drama of the situation and getting into her zone, with her voice breaking almost at will and her vocabulary scaling new heights in dramatization. This is her thing!

As I watch this newscast from my couch all weekend, I think to myself....'isnt this a dream newscast for a terrorist'? Isnt this how they would have exactly wanted to script it?.....20-30 of the best journalistic minds in the country fighting between themselves to prove who can 'magnify the fear' better and who has the best 'drama' on offer?.....for heaven's sake, they even have a 'highlights' sorta music video every hour or so....just in case you had forgotten any of those images.

I rewind back to the early morning hours of Thursday, when I got out of my hotel room in Mumbai after being huddled in front of the TV all night. Though I was ridiculously far away from all the 'action' of the previous night, I ask the bell boy something I have never asked in my life before "Is it safe to go out now?".

30 minutes later, I reach the domestic terminal and it was a shocking sight. Not because something changed, but because Nothing did. It was exactly the way I left it two days back. Well, actually no. There was a lone cop standing with a semi-automatic.

Ten minutes later, I pass through security and for the 22nd time in the last 2 months, my super-large shaving cream canister, my 500 ml Davidoff and packs of matches - all in the front zipper of my laptop bag, make safe travel through the X-ray tunnel, without tickling the attention of the guard. My mind is shouting out to him "common!! see it! See it atleast today.....this is the morning after a terrorist attack and there is enough room in that canister to blow up the plane I am taking". But No. He gets out the rubber stamp, and mid-way over sharing a joke with his colleague, brings it down on my tag.

(Even as I write this, Arnab Goswami has just repeated the words "These are visuals that are coming to you exclusively on Times Now and no other news channel" for the 104th time in the last 48 hours.)

As I board the plane, I am convinced about one thing. You dont need an international conspiracy to blow this country up. You dont need a meticulous plan. You dont need a terrorist ourfit. You can do it at will. All you need is just a desire to die and a few hours of your time. So, lets not pretend that something has been breached. There was nothing to be breached. No fucking thing.

The Director of HR of Infosys just popped on screen, demanding the right to bear arms. Fair enough (are you listening Mr. Terrorist? Is this panning out like you planned?). And Milind Deora pops on screen talking about Mumbai like as though it is a neighbouring country. Dude, you are the MP from South Mumbai, for cryin out loud!! But the most appropriate sound byte in all these 4 days came from RR Patil. Surprisingly, everybody is calling it a gaffe. Absolutely not! I think it is the most honest, objective and pragmatic assessment of the situation. A masterstroke.

"Aise bade bade sheharon mein aise choti choti baatein hoti hai".

Bravo, my man! He is right. A much much larger thing could have happened. And no, the cop in the police station in my vicinity, weilding a lathi and a modified version of the 1880 ".303 Musket" is not gonna stop it. The fact that the ".303" was a big hit in both the World Wars, notwithstanding.

Mumbai

2008-11-26T13:53:00.002-05:00

its 12:30 AM at this hotel room in Dadar, as this city is being invaded from all around!!!

White tiger...

2008-11-23T00:30:00.004-05:00

you know the feeling....of running in sweltering mid-day heat, at the peak of chennai summer, listening to death metal on your walkman in full volume? (ok...before you think am demented, I would like to confess that I have not tried it post high school)

anyway...back to the run....its pain and ecstasy at the same time, with all that adrenalin pulling you through, long after your body has given up.

Reading the white tiger was pretty close - just replace the adrenalin with anger. It is a story that is so disgusting, filthy, rotten and raw that you can feel the stench emanating from the pages. The stench will no doubt disgust you at the beginning; but by page 200, you will not just get used to it, but in fact look forward to it indulgently.

If you have ever flown into Mumbai on a window seat, you would have no doubt seen the miles of blue taupaulined slums that the plane sails across, before depositing you int the marble floored, air conditioned, interior-decorated confines of the Chatrapathi Shivaji terminal. The strange thing is that the 'tarpaulined' and the 'terminal' are two mutually exclusive worlds - totally insulated from each other. While members of both these worlds meet everyday and even need each other to stay alive, they know so very little about the other's world that it could have as well been in a different planet.

Anyway, the book has nothing to do with Mumbai and so I havent spoilt anything for you ;) But it is about these two worlds and if you have ever stopped in your tracks once, angered by this rude, dualistic joke that is our nation, then you Will love the book.

K cant get enough MC Solaar...

2008-11-21T13:01:00.001-05:00

Strangely enough, of all the videos ever made on this song, this one works best ;)

A thousand elephants

2008-11-16T08:00:00.007-05:00

So....
A title picked from Andal's 'Nachiyar Thirumozhi'. Is it gonna be erotic spirituality (as Thirumozhi's genre is) or does the literal translation of 'a thousand elephants' mean this is gonna be an action flick?
Harris's best work till date was an enigma by itself. An overwhelming 'rock' feel in couple of the numbers; A flat Sudha ragunathan crooning a disturbingly emotional melody; and a slow folk number that I was hoping will not make the final cut.
Gautham has a history of rip-offs. He has already made two films inspired by 'Seven' and one inspired by 'Derailed'. Lately, he has been talking to the media about how 'Forrest gump' inspired this one. So is this gonna be a straight rip off?
There was also the 'father & son' talk. Does Gautham Menon now becoming Gautham Vasudev Menon mean that this was going to be a 'Thavamai Thavamirunthu' redux?
And then there is also that critical factor of Sameera Reddy's shoulders and lips.
So, I had more reasons than one to look forward to Vaaranam Ayiram.

The only place I managed to get tickets was the drive in. And it was a cloudy evening.
But the weather held up mostly and the film did as well. The best part was, it surprised the hell out of me.
An honest, straight from the heart film. Now that by itself is surprising in Tamil these days. Add to it:
- an earth shattering performance by Simran.
- an intriguing background score
- a gimmick-less, narrative based editing
- minimalistic, but very effective make-up (u gotta have seen Dasavatharam atleast once to fully appreciate this)
- dialogues that actually strike a chord
- Imagination in most of the frames

you gotta winner.

Now, the other thing about this film is that Surya is in every single frame (no, am not kidding. Every frickin frame). In fact, most times, there are two Suryas in a frame. So, it takes some performance to pull this off, without pissing off the audience even once. He does it pretty well.

Its obvious that a lot of imagination and heart has gone into sketching the father character. It shows! Also, Gautham has always been amazing with relationships. There is a dignity and an intimacy that be brings to them, which makes you love the 'couple', more than you do the individual. You get into a bit of Deja vu many times.

And oh...the shoulders and lips dont disappoint you one bit. And that folk number is actually interesting.

Of course there is the length of the film, some scenes that tire you, the overtly episodic nature of the film, some monochromatic characters, Gautham's penchant with extending his films for 10 minutes after it is technically over, blah blah, which the critics will throw at you. Its all true.

But then at the end of the day, there is the heart thats been put into this. And thats in fantastic health ;)

After...

2008-11-15T22:17:00.004-05:00

Tenth day after the death of a Grand uncle.

I drive dad to a house that I have never been to, before. You don't have to ask for directions when you are going to offer condolence. The house usually sticks out.

Women clad in wet, nine yard sarees cross your path without a second look at the visitor entering their house.

A 'sasthrigal' talks into his iphone, leaning on his Santro parked outside. Another client.

Dad leaves me behind in the living room and walks inside. As is always the case, I find myself surrounded by relatives who know everything about me and whose names I fear I cant remember.

The wife of the deceased - my mom's cousin, holds my hand and breaks down. Nobody in the room reacts. Evidently, they have seen her go through this many times in the last ten days. Age and an overwhelming depression weighing on her, she makes a sign with her hand. I dint need anybody to translate that - "It feels like yesterday, when you were a baby this small". A lump gathers in my throat and it has nothing to do with the death.

Breakfast is being served. The visitors have to be fed properly. I nibble and then get up, refusing an additional serving for the fifth time.

Somebody has brought a package from a Kodak store nearby. The image cut from a group photo and enlarged by the wonders of technology. The sons and daughters gather nearby to admire it in a fatalistic sorta way. The image that will adorn the walls in that house for decades to come and then get discarded by a generation that will no longer give a damn. I make a mental note to click 'that' picture when am 45 and keep aside.

We run into the daughter. She knows I have relocated back from San Francisco. I dont know anything about her. I wish my sister was around. She always knows. Somebody else joins the conversation. Both take time away from the grief to congratulate me on my career decision and take my opinion on the sub-prime crisis.

The grand children are playing cricket in the backyard, oblivious to grief. For now.

When we are done, my dad walks out abruptly. It dawns on me after a few seconds. You dont say goodbye.

The drive back is silent for the first minute. Dad stares blankly at the road for a while. Then he switches on 'Radio Mirchi'.

The show resumes for the rest of us.

K's film hangover of the week

2008-10-22T16:49:00.002-04:00

Yet another Iranian film that proves why cinema will always be more heart than science...

Offside, 2006 - by Jafar Panahi.

11953

2008-10-17T05:52:00.005-04:00

I have known him for the last 19 years.

I see him every time he is in town.

I know his entire family by first names.

I remember the exact year his father died.

I know of every major physical ailment he has had in his adult life. The back, the wrist, the tennis elbow and the shoulder.

I have always defended him in arguments with friends, family and enemies.

I love him.

I root for him!

overrated!

2008-10-12T02:37:00.003-04:00

Am pretty sure all of us go through that one day in our mid life, when it finally dawns upon you, what an asshole you have been to many people, in your short life....friends, enemies, people who loved you, family and even people who have had absolutely nothing to do with you. Like the time when you gave a big piece of your mind to the call center guy who caught you in the middle of a terrible bad-hair day, or the night when you got unreasonably irate with your girl, for getting overtly emotional about a triviality (to you).

You dont necessarily become a 'better man' at the end of that day. You probably feel bad, repent and all that good stuff....but it doesnt change you much....if anything, you only become a bit more cynical towards life...and may be even come up with a list of the top 5 things that you think are highly overrated in life ;)

(in no particular order)

a. humility
b. loyalty
c. job security
d. god
e. Pamela Anderson

Gaffe Gal!

2008-10-03T08:03:00.004-04:00

Just when you were about to hand the crown of the "Empress of Absurdity" to Mamata Bannerjee, Ms. Dixit snatches it away by making the comment of the last two centuries. This is what the Chief Minister of the capital of India has to say about a woman journalist who was shot on her way back from work..."All by herself at 3 am at night in a city where people believe...you know...you should not be so adventurous." God help us all.

Rock Star!

2008-10-03T02:05:00.005-04:00

Springsteen, Mercury, Henley, Bono, Bocelli, Sivamani....theres a reason why these guys sound better live than on a CD. They soak in the energy of a live audience and get high on it, which brings out the best in them. Aruna Sairam has got to be right on top of this list. The way she can hypnotise the audience for hours together into a state of trance, is to be lived through to be believed.

It was the 'navarathiri' celebrations of the Mylapore Ramakrishna Home - Dad's Alma Mater and I had been waiting all afternoon for the concert. Lucky to get a seat in the overflowing hall, I was initially disappointed that 'Ghatam Karthik' was not part of the ensemble. But as it turned out, it was just a detail and over the next 2.5 hours, I was served everything I had waited for and then more - a Sahana oozing 'vandhanamu', a soul stirring 'Jaago' and a Bengali number that had half the auditorium swaying. She even did a 'Freddie Mercury', by making the the kids in the front row singalong 'maadu meikkum'.

The woman really is a rock star! Hers is probably the only kacheri, where you wont find 'rasikas' browsing through the 'raaga digest' to figure out what raagam the krithi is in. They are usually busy head banging! Seriously...

Us and Them

2008-08-27T03:03:00.004-04:00

So, the latest World bank estimates are out. If $1.25 is taken as the new poverty line (ie. The amount of money required for a person to take care of his 'absolutely essential' needs for one day), then 455 Million people in India are below that.

In other words, 42% of the Indian population is among the Poorest in the World (Africanesque and all). So, the next time someone tells you that India is shining or twinkling or doing somersaults, you can politely ask them to go fuck themselves.

long live punk...

2008-08-16T14:34:00.002-04:00

coming to think of it, the one and only concert on my 'bucket list'!

Anil the cabbie and other optimists

2008-08-16T07:40:00.003-04:00

Had to travel to Delhi to meet a Client. The last time I was at the capital, it was on Dad's LTA. My height was about 4 feet and I had never shaved in my life. Or in other words, it was 1990. I have no memory of it, except for the 'super bad' picures my dad and me had clicked using the 'hotshot' camera. If you are a 30 something Indian male or female, you WILL remember 'hotshot'!!

Besides those pictures, my only other memory was 'Palika bazaar'. I remember PB distinctly, because it was the place where I was fleeced Rs. 50 for a VHS tape that was supposed to have 5 episodes of 'Tom and Jerry'. When I opened the box after coming back to Chennai, I realized that it had just a one minute long tape inside. That night, I swore to kill the shopkeeper using a two-barelled rifle, while riding my horse in a cowboy hat.

Cut to present. I won a 'Reebok' backpack on the 'scratch and win' competition onboard the flight. It was apparently worth Rs. 1,195 and I could get it for Rs.500. Not wanting to get into another draining decision making exercise, I decided to decide later whether I really wanted that backpack.

Got out of the airport and confirmed with the client that they had sent a cab. Stepped out, pulling my two piece luggage into the sea of cab drivers waving placards. I started to skim through them, looking for my name. 10 minutes and about 300 placards later, I could not find my man. Went back to square one and tried again slowly. 15 minutes later, no luck.

Its one thing to not have anybody to pick you up from an airport. Its quite another, to be decked in a suit and a tie (I will come back to the tie again, later in this post) at 11 AM in the middle of a Delhi summer and not have anybody to pick you up from the airport, especially when your cell phone has died on you.

The funny thing about a booming economy is that while more people have fancier cell phones, the Public Call Office is suddenly not in vogue anymore. It has especially become uncool anywhere near an airport terminal. Had to walk all the way to the arrival terminal to find the only PCO in the entire airport in our capital. Thankfully had the cabbie's cell phone number.

It has been a while since I had a hindi-only conversation with anybody and my linguistic capabilities are inversely proportional to my angry state of mind. I was shocked to find out that Mr. Anil Shinde, my 'sarathi' for the next 3 days was indeed standing near the arrival terminal. How stupid of me. I should have looked more closely.

'Main blue pant our blue shirt main hoon, sir'. Blue must really be the in thing this summer, because I walked all the way back to find about 5 people at the specified spot, all dressed in various hues of that color. The third shoulder I tapped was Anil.

He did not have a placard. I was furious. I asked him if we had met before. He din't get the joke and instead went on about how he had never left Delhi. I wanted to hold him by the collar and scream "what were you thinking? how the fuck were you planning to recognize me and have you really been fancying your chances for the last 45 minutes??". However, he did not give me a chance. By the time I gathered my luggage, he had already walked across the road and I would have lost him again, if not for the blue, which thankfully was not so much in vogue on the other side of the road.

Through the ride to the hotel and over the next 3 days, Anil would become my new best friend in Delhi. I would develop a certain kind of love for the Air freshner he uses in his Indica and how it mixes with the smell of his supari to create a heady mix. I would also develop a deep respect for the man's optimism. One of those evenings, I asked him to take me to JNU so I could meet a friend there. He had no idea where JNU was and he did not think it was worth his/my time, to ask somebody before we started driving.

He simply started in his favorite direction and left the rest to people he would stop next to, at the traffic lights. In the dying moments of the red light, he would roll down his window lazily and ask his neighbour for directions, the last few parts of which would invariably get drowned in a sea of irate honks from those behind us. But find JNU, we did. The decisive last direction came from a chap who had just emptied his bladder next to a roadside tree and was mildly flattered to see a car waiting for him to finish up.

Anil and me talked a lot. Me, talking in a broken version of my national language and he concentrating hard and encouraging me along. We talked about our familes and he told me that I was his second best customer ever. I lost gold to a 30 plus girl from Bangalore, who took him to lunch on one of the days she drove with him.

We survived each other. I wanted to surprise him with a big tip on the last day on the way back to the airport, but as 'Murphy' would have it, the cab company decided to send a different car on that day. Anil is a legend when it comes to optimism. In my mind, he is second only to the dude who came up with the fantastic idea of the 'necktie'. So fantastic that its only fair to talk about him in an exclusive post!

Unaccustomed earth...

2008-07-27T00:42:00.003-04:00

Garp will have to wait a while. ...

Picked up 'Unaccustomed Earth', for company on a long flight. Was very apprehensive. I loved 'Interpreter of Maladies' and never read 'The Namesake', though I liked the film. And I was not exactly in the mood for a weighing down immigration story.

I was excited to find out that it was a collection of short stories. Those are perfect for a train or a flight, especially for slow readers like me. And a quick glance into the first story suggested that it was set in Seattle - not the repetitive Boston. Great...I was sold! Paid for it and boarded the flight.

The first story was 'Unaccustomed Earth' - Title track. Strangely, the emotions were very much in the accustomed territory for me. Then again, I think anybody who reads it will feel that way. As it is always the case with Jhumpa, the english was dumbed down, but the effect was piercing. I finished the 60 page story in one shot and realized that the plane was still on the tarmac.

Tried to move over to the next story. After all, there were another 3 hours to kill. The next story was set in Boston and it seemed like a lighter one. I closed the book. Decided that I would rather savour the hangover from the first one for the rest of the weekend.

Later that night, someone asked me what I thought of the book. I said 'it makes you wanna take the next flight to boston, meet Jhumpa and hug her for 2 full minutes'.

Garp...

2008-07-24T10:59:00.004-04:00

found John Irving's "World According to Garp", lying around in a friend's place...had read it eons back and it has since been by all time favorite book. I remember closing the last page on it, thinking...'OK...some things in life are not going to feel the same again, from here on'...

".......It was an unpleasant sensation for Garp, shortly after Duncan turned six, to smell that Duncan's breath was stale and faintly foul in his sleep. It was as if the process of decay, of slow dying was already begun in him. This was Garp's first awareness of mortality of his son...."

I think I will read it again!

why I cannot stop talking about this....

2008-07-16T21:05:00.009-04:00

I dont believe I am actually writing a post, showing off a movie ticket I bought! but its true...scrambled my way to possibly the last two tickets available for this weekend....yeah its 3:00 AM...but hey, what better time to watch "The Dark Knight"?

3 reasons why I cannot wait for the sun to set (and it has barely dawned!):

a. Growing up, vacations and comic books always went together. Thankfully, me and sis had this pretty simple but effective system to split the piles of Amar Chitra Katha and the few DC comics that were around the house - She got to take what she wanted and the leftovers were all mine!!! Thankfully, she was not a massive super hero fan. Small mercies! and for some reason, I was always drawn to the dark, hooded, masked men - Phantom and Batman. I think it was the lack of 'inevitability' of those stories, which fascinated me. And ofcourse the Villains!

b. Christian Bale. Easily the most talented actor in Hollywood at the moment. Unfortunately, he is largely unknown for some of his best work, like the 'Machinist' for example. It is the most shocking transformation anybody ever went through for a role. Check out his pics below from 'Machinist' and 'Batman Begins', the two movies he did back to back - in that order.

3. Nolan! I was so intrigued by Memento, that after seeing it, I immediately downloaded the film and tried to re-cut it in the reverse to see how it turned out....but naah, it was too much work ;( ...will probably take it up as a post-retirement project!! I digress....the reason I love Nolan is because he is one of the few writers out there who makes his film work mostly by 'out thinking' the audience...'The Prestige' is a fine example. If there is one thing you can be sure of in a Nolan film, it is that you definitely would have had the rug pulled from undernneath, by the time you exit the theatre.....and its probably the only time in life, when its an amazing feeling!

Colleagues

2008-07-11T19:22:00.007-04:00

Was reading this piece on rediff and got reminded of the day I saw Pyaasa, many years back. The movie hit me like a brick truck and the hangover lasted many many weeks. But then, it wasnt just me. I think the effect was universal for anybody who saw it.

I wonder sometimes what it must have been like to have colleagues like this: Abrar Alvi, SD Burman, VK Murthy, Rafi, Sahir Ludhianvi, Kaifi Azmi, Johnie Walker, Waheeda Rehman and the head of the pack - Mr. Dutt himself. What it must have felt like for these guys to go to work everyday with one another - each, easily the best of his / her breed! And what it must have felt like when it all just ended abruptly one night. No wonder their best work happened only when they were together.

And talking of Best work, I think VK Murthy is among the least sung heroes, when it comes to Cinema in our country. The man who shot Pyaasa, Kagaz ke Phool, Sahib Biwi our Ghulam, Bharat Ek Khoj and Tamas! Howz this for lighting in 1959??!!!

PS: watch without audio once, so SD does not get to hijack the Murthy show ;)

finally...!!!

2008-07-10T17:49:00.004-04:00

"...A week before its opening, Warner Bros.' The Dark Knight is shaping up as the movie event of the year, if not the millennium!....Already, theaters have scheduled midnight Thursday screenings - to begin at 12:01 a.m. Friday, so as not to violate film's contracted July 18 opening. There's talk of 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. screenings Friday, to meet the advance-sales demand...."

10

2008-06-18T20:09:00.023-04:00

It has been a wallet-bursting last few weekends at the movies:

The Happening, Dasa, Hulk, Mongol and Dasa again.

Hulk could have as well been an animated feature and Mongol is just too amazing a piece of art to write about on a Friday afternoon (I refuse to say anything about 'The Happening'). That leaves me with the one film I have waited impatiently for over half a year. Literally.

So, when I actually settled into my seat (first day, 2nd show), I had an embarrasingly wide grin on my face. And like everyone else, I too was nailed to my seat during the first 10 minutes. What followed though was a roller coaster ride of amazement and disappointment in equal measure, so much so that I left the theatre without knowing whether I actually liked the film or not. The second helping did not help either.

For what its worth, my 'Dus' things about Dasa:

1. Dasa ends with a montage of Kamal, 'before, during and after' the make up of each character (with the 'ulaga nayagane' track in the background). This is before the credits begin and so, seemed like he intended the audience to see it as part of the actual feature!!!! Its a minor detail, but it kinda gives us an insight into the thought process behind this film. This clearly is a 'come and see what all I can do' kinda gig and not the 'come, watch and get blown away' types. For some strange reason, I just assumed it would be the latter.

2. I think the folly of Dasa was the fact that much of its brilliance was too subtle to be noticed, let alone appreciated.

3. Almost no paati I have met in real life has had forearms that reminded me of Sanath Jayasuriya.

4. I have a sikh friend whose Tamil is way better than some of my Tamil friends. So I dont have a problem with Avtaar singing in Tamil. However, I do have a problem with him mouthing a phrase like 'Paarada Maanuda'

5. People say that the Tsunami sequence special effects were bad. Of course they were. This is a $25 Million film. That is half the budget of 'The Happening' (which at $60 Million is considered a teeny weeny small budget film). Even if you subject all the animation engineers in India into bonded labour, you cannot do much with $25 Million. Having said that, there is just no excuse for the scene where some police constables flee the rising ocean as if they were running away from a mouse on the loose.

6. The subtle brilliances. So many! The shot at the hospital with 4 kamals criss-crossing and the car chase with 2 kamals inside the car must have all been shot on multiple days. To have managed the same lighting and to have choreographed extras over and over again, etc must have been a continuity nightmare, pulled off brilliantly. I think the biggest indication that those scenes worked is that not many talk about it!

7. I totally loved the 'conspiracy theories' of the undying Kamal fan (http://sathyaphoenix.wordpress.com/2008/06/17/the-mapping-of-each-ten-roles-to-avatars-in-dasavatharam/). Some of them actually seem plausible.

8. Prosthetics kick ass. I think we all know that. Kamal's linguistic and voice modulations kick ass. We all know that too. These obviousnesses kinda brought down the novelty of 10 for me.

9. I think critics are having a field day butchering Kamal the writer. I dont know about that. I guess there is the script and then there is the premise. "A depiction of the 'Butterfly Effect', with a 9th century execution as the 'flutter of the wings' and a Tsunami nullyfying the effect of a biological weapon as the 'tornado'......In an industry that has been pre-occupied with 'boy meets girl' and 'good man kicks bad man's ass' for the last 75 years, I think this is pretty ground breaking.

10. Like sky diving or cardiac surgery, cinema too has no points for 'trying'. In the end it is all about the folks in the dark room with their backs to the projector, who paid to see your film. They either like what they see or they dont. It doesnt matter if you spent 100 hours to get into a plastic mask. They are still gonna come out and say "Hey that 'paati' did not look real, yaar!".

saturday morning coffee...

2008-06-07T14:56:00.001-04:00

....and just when you thought it was a lazy saturday morning, a song comes along, 10 years since you heard it last....and brings along so much...Cat Stevens.

between hard and a rocky place...

2008-05-19T02:03:00.009-04:00

What would you like? a lot of money or very little money?

do you want to be buried or cremated?

Royals or Royal Challengers? (i know!)

how would you rather be tortured? waterboarding or tickets to 'kabhi kushi kabhi ghum'?

'SIMPLE DECISIONS'. Are'nt they wonderful? Black & white, easy to make, you will never repent them (like for example, the guy who chose waterboarding), you dont have to discuss it with your friends and best of all, its chop chop! No time wasted.

cut to my life.

"would you like 3 or 2 buttons on your suit?"

"white bread or wheat bread for your sandwich?"

"well...you can either take TTK road and make a right or take RK Salai and make a left. Its the same distance. your call!"

"Cafe mocha or Cafe latte?"

"I have tickets to both Aruna Sairam and U Srinivas. Where do you wanna go?"

Time out. After almost three decades of 'Deciding Between Equals', I am officially retiring. It is a thankless job. Seriously.

I have to use all the neurons in my very small brain to weigh two perfectly equal options , do a pointless SWOT analysis, look at the long term vs short term gains, check the ROI and eventually pick 'A' over 'B' (for really no fault of 'B', by the way)....all in 5 seconds and what do I get in return?

K- Mocha
Coffee shop gurl: OK....that'll be $3.50

K - two
Suit shop guy: OK....you can come for trial in a week

really? 'OK' is all you got to say about it? How about a lil appreciation?

"Sir, I know the pain you had to go through....and I think you are a genius"

"two buttons? wow....you just brought down your carbon foot print and saved the earth from global warming"

"you choose Aruna Sairam??....will you marry me?"

Now, THAT will be 'fair compensation' or 'minimum wage' (depending on how 'left' you are). Unfortunately, we live in a thankless society and I just have to pay up, pick up my sandwich and leave - like as though Nothing happened in those few seconds!

Prayer

2008-04-11T05:32:00.003-04:00

I hope I will never have to watch another cricket match with Arun Lal's commentary
I hope Vodaphone will be declared bankrupt in my lifetime (They are actually getting away with an online recharge system that does not work!)
I hope Karunanidhi lives for another 45 years, stays in power and remains my neighbor, so my apartment never has to worry about security, water or power cuts
I hope Rahul Gandhi develops a medical condition that prevents his larynx from working
I hope Arjun Singh's english teacher will spank him hard and make him understand that the word 'reservation' is not the synonym of the phrase 'equal opportunity'
I hope watching southpark for 2 hours everyday doesnt mean I am a sicko
I hope the trainer at my gym, who was born and brought up in Theni, would talk to me back in Tamil, someday.
I hope Arun Lal dies a painful death ("Sourav, quick as he is, could not stop the ball" he said today).

I hope.

Wedding bells

2008-03-20T21:48:00.010-04:00

It was the 'sashtipurthi' of my parents' one time neighbour. They lived next to each other during 1974. The only social event I have ever attended in my life, where I did not know anybody else besides the people I chaffeured. Surprisingly, this was not the worst part of that morning. The troupe that played nadaswaram for the day, rendered what was easily the most horrible and the most besur recital of 'Nagumo' in the history of mankind.

Surprisingly though, no one seemed to care except me! Reminded me of the time when I DJed for a dear friend's wedding reception. Very excited with the job description, I chose the most exotic instrumental collection for the night - Ravishankar, Shiv Kumar Sharma, Vanessa Mae, Izhtak Perlman, Bach, yada yada yada......only to be asked the next morning by my friend...."why dint you do anything about the music?????"

So my new hypothesis is that wedding music is the most inaudible genre. It is the only gig where almost nobody in the audience (except jobless chaffeurs) gives a damn about whats being played! In fact, the next time I am asked to DJ at a wedding, I plan to mix 'Eminem' with 'Lalgudi Jayaraman' and see if anybody notices it.....takers?

While on weddings, I gotta say that its an absolute laugh riot to be 30 and single and meet your relatives after a long time...

K: Hello Uncle, how have you been? long time...
Uncle: why are you like this?
K: huh?...like what?
Uncle: Eppo da kalyanam?
K: oh that....i dont know, uncle....am having the time of my life. So am not sure if I really wanna get married now. So how have you been? whats the real estate scene in chennai?
Uncle: How can we be alright when you are like this?
K: Really, uncle...am doing fantastic...so dont worry....so did you see any movies recently?
Uncle: if you get married at 35, your son will still be in college when you retire!!!
K: jees, mama! this is hilarious. I think we are getting a wee bit ahead of ourselves. I dont even know what I'll be doing in September '08....BTW, what do you think of the bangalore Royal Challengers?
Uncle: oh, they are a bunch of test cricketers, I say....not good for T20...
K: Thats exactly what I thought....

god bless IPL!

of Balaji, Baadshah and Bangalore...

2008-03-12T11:37:00.011-05:00

Thank GOD am not a believer....

Tirupati is a freakin circus. Thousands of people, whose ages vary anywhere between 6 months to 103 years, are sandwiched together daily in 6 feet wide cages for miles together with no emergency exits or cops or cell phones in sight. Move over, trapeze artists!

It is quite a sight - that teeny weeny 'people' bridge in the middle such vast expanse of land!

So what happens if there is a stampede?....there almost was one the other day...or worse, what happens when somebody has a stroke?...Then again, thats just the Rs. 50 queue. So it aint really important. I am told the Rs. 500 "V.I.P" queues are not so long....but hold on for a sec....who the fuck are you to decide that if I dont have the dough, I cant see my God comfortably?

moving on....Saw Jodha a few weeks back, at 9:30 in the morning!! I usually prefer my cinema later in the night, well after the World has called it a day...but my buddy had scheduling problems and so I tried a post breakfast thing.....aint bad at all!

I hate films with commentaries, or a placard at the end saying what happened to the characters, later in their lives...like anybody cares! Thankfully, Jodha dint have the latter....but the former was bad enough. My take on commentaries is that if you cant say it with your screenplay, you are probably trying too hard. The first 15 minutes of the film reminded me of one of my all time fav TV shows - 'Bharat Ek Khoj'. I did not pay Rs.125 for that though.

Hrithik was awesome. He probably aint gay after all, like I had thought all these days. The man makes a fantastic Akbar. The scene with the elephant was pure panache.

Strangely, the thing I looked forward to most when I entered the theatre and the thing that put me off most during the film, were the same - Rahman. I thought the songs were brilliant and I found myself waiting impatiently for the next song, throughout the film. I almost jumped with joy when 'Khwaja' began. However, the background score was horrendous. It seemed as though Ashutosh's brief to Rahman was "dude, just spray it. I want atleast 125 musicians jamming at any point of time in my film". Not a single frame passes by in silence....and worse, the BG always gives away the mood of a scene, even before the audience enters it. Makes you yearn for a "Junoon" or "Last Emperor", mid way though the film!

Ashutosh is an old school guy and I think I love him for that....but I think that also makes him a terrible maker of songs. He (and I think Mani also shares this vice) has an unexplainable urge to lip sync every vocal in a song. This gets pretty tricky when Rahman scores the music, because he experiments with multiple vocal tracks of the same singer in a song. The result - you have 3 qawwali singers in a scene, all singing different parts of the song at the same time and sounding suspiciously like Rahman!! Thats stretching it a bit, boss!

Ashutosh is also one of the few film makers around, who still believes in 'goose pimple' scenes. In 'Swades', it was the kid selling water at the railway station. In Jodha, its Akbar getting up to dance in trance! WoW!

I loved the film, though. I think I saw endearing romance on the Hindi screen after a long time. Yeah, it was simplistic and it was very long....but I guess thats alright. I loved the fact that the director did not for the most part, move away from the love story into anything else too fancy.

That night, I saw a bunch of film makers (including Ashutosh) on NDTV, defending their right to creative liberty in interpreting history for a film. While I have absolutely no insight into how much of this film is factual, I actually think their argument is pretty ridiculous. If you dont think sticking to historical facts is important for a film maker and if you want the audience to see this only as a work of art, then why bother calling it 'Jodha Akbar'? Why not 'Usha Rahim'?

moving on....sneaked in a bangalore trip a few weeks back....and did Purple Haze after 5 years! It was nostalgia all over again....the backlit jimi hendrix, the smell of a decade of pints and cigarretes, the big screen TV playing 'comfortably numb', the gobi manchurian and good old rock n roll. I guess somethings never change....thankfully!

Rangarajan

2008-02-27T23:36:00.008-05:00

"Karthik,

I do reply interesting mail like yours. It is a good idea to make shortfilms based on short stories. Modern Tamil literature is full of filmworthy short stories. Ray's teen konya is a masterpiece. Try and see Fellinis Yesterday Today andTomorrow and also Puttanna's "katha sagara" in kannada.

with best wishes

Sujatha"

This e-mail will go to my grave as one of my proudest possessions. I met him at a play in Mylapore fine arts and took down his e-mail address. I wrote to him the next day, saying I wanted to make a film of a short story by Ray. This reply came back in minutes.

Months after this, I was reading his 'vignana siru kathaigal' (science fiction short stories) and was intrigued by one titled "computeray, oru kathai sollu" (computer, tell me a story). The intrigue had to do with the central character of the story, 'Thambu' - a robot that takes news papers as input and gives short stories as output. An 'expert system', pretty much. This story was published in the mid sixties and expert systems were not a reality until the early seventies. I immediately started writing an e-mail to him, asking him whether he ever realized the significance of what he had done.

I also wanted to tell him that I have finished 'haze'.

I also wanted to ask him about his health and whether I can send the dvd to him sometime.

I never finished that e-mail. Now, I will never be able to send it. Ever.

I am on page 26 of "Kanavu Thozhirchalai" - Factory of dreams.

quick notes from Madras...

2008-02-12T23:14:00.005-05:00

Mylapore smells the same, but for a whiff of Davidoff in the air
Theres traffic jam on mount road at 11:30 PM on a thursday
An Apollo "1066" ambulance (siren blaring), for heart related emergencies was stuck with me in the same jam. We both took an hour to go from little mount to guindy. Ironically, their tag line is "every minute counts".
Am definitely having the "1066" episode in my film
Aachi masala is presenting "National Treasure - book of secrets" in the city
After years of yearning for it, finally made it to a family wedding. Filter kapi, Nadaswaram, the smell of sweat+jasmine+Davidoff+homam+pongal, paati, chiti, gorgeous relatives.....life's good!
The foodworld in city centre has snickers, mars and cigarettes near the checkout counter
Have been holding on to Shantaram for a long time, but surprisingly have not crossed page 11. I think I will start Sujata's "Kanavu Thozhirchalai" instead
There is no "comedy central" in dad's satellite TV plan
Went to Akkarai sisters' violin kacheri. I am now a fan!
I think the 100 rupee note is the new 10 rupee note.

10 Realities of Moving

2008-01-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

#10: You can categorize your things how much ever you want - Clothes, ties, books, CDs, fancier ties, the stuff you bought from the india store but never used, etcetera. However, the sad reality of the 11th hour is that all of 'em go into either of the 2 bags that you plan to travel with. In fact, there are only 2 categories - bag A and bag B.

#9: "A friend with a gift is a friend indeed" (I tried rhyming that, but gave up!), is a myth. After the first beer in a reunion, almost nobody will care.

#8: There are things and there are Things! How much ever objective you are in getting rid of stuff, you are always going to end up with a set that "you can neither sell nor throw away.....nor pack!!!". Like your bookshelf, your IKEA lamps and your pressure cooker!

#7: When you moved into your apartment, you chose the top floor because you did not want kids running above your head in surround sound? Bad Idea. BAD IDEA!!!

#6: When you were 24, shopping for your friends meant that you hit music stores, duty free shops, game sites and book stores. When you are 30, most of your gift shopping happens in 'Babies R us' or 'Toys R us'. Its scary!

#5: Sell your car first. Shop last. Not the other way round.

#4: That 1955 8mm mechanical film camera that you bought from a remote antique store in Wilmington, might be special....but that issue is between you and the camera. You cannot expect your suitcase to relate to it!

#3: Buying a CD every time you visit the 'Half price book store', is not cool anymore. Especially not, if it becomes 20% of your travelling mass. It is about time you started buying music from iTunes.

#2: You cannot afford to be emotionally entangled with your coffee mug.

#1: Packing is work. You are not supposed to be enjoying it!!!

Ads that get on your nerve #1

2008-01-28T01:28:00.001-05:00

This has got to be absurdest ad on Indian television right now...it even beats Hrithik's Acer ad, in my books....a 4 door sedan is 'man among cars'?....surely!

#39!!!!!

2008-01-24T01:49:00.000-05:00

....and how!

Sir Sachin Tendulkar?

2008-01-21T08:00:00.001-05:00

What fun!!!!

:))))))))))))))))))))))

2008-01-19T04:38:00.000-05:00

Shut the fuck up!....and while you are at it, get a life!

2008-01-10T15:49:00.000-05:00

Really?

So an entire court in Bhopal - the judge and all its employees, are going to be paid a day's salary (at least) for hearing this case...coz this is obviously more important for the nation's judiciary than the 15000 cases in the backlog on murder, rape and robbery.

The girl is 21.....and the first woman in generations of billions to be ranked significantly in world tennis....and this is the best you could do as a sports photographer? having her sort out judicial volleys in addition to Venus's and Maria's?

This is so ridiculous that it makes a Lindsay Lohan drunken driving case an epic court battle of global implications, in comparison.

In my opinion, if anybody has to be sued for insulting the flag in this picture, it is the darned photographer for choosing this angle for the object in the foreground.....

Reductio ad absurdum!

Elsewhere...

A bunch of die-hard patriots burnt the effigies of Mark Benson and Bucknor, last week....The two men responsible for all the injustice that life has thrown their and their families' way. The two men standing between mankind and world peace.

My theory: Lack of good sex is inducing a chemical imbalance in these perfectly normal looking men, which is making them indulge in this stupidity. I cant come up with a better explanation for why a man will spend a fine monday afternoon, burning straw!! Patriotism, my foot.

The only thing crazier than this is CNN IBN coming up with a novel initiative to show their support for the sons of the soil, by launching an online petition for revoking the ban on Harbhajan...seriously? Do they even realize what a 'hearing' means? Isnt it ridiculous to demand a specific outcome from a judicial exercise? Should they not be asking just for a 'fair hearing'??? well....I guess thats about as much as you can expect from news channels that have a 'background score' for news....

But the biggest joke of them all is yet to come....

"Indians drink buffalo milk but worship the white cow. They do not worship the buffalo because its black."

Quote attributed to: Mahoshay 'Kancha Iliah'
His claim to fame: A book titled 'Buffalo Nationalism' (which I dont look forward to reading)
Event in question: 'Are we racist?' - a supposed introspection into the nation's psyche from CNN IBN, post the monkey fiasco down under.

Really, I respect CNN IBN more than any of the other news channels (DD not included).....but this one beats even the Navjot Sidhu comedy going on for the last 2 weeks....This is actually so funny, I am not even angry!

Kite Runner....

2007-12-30T09:39:00.001-05:00

Both Marc Foster and I have spent most of November 07, working on the Kite Runner. Him, trying to finish the post production and me, trying to finish the book. He beat me to it! I finally finished the book last week and bought myself a ticket last night at the movies. The last time I saw a movie by myself was in the early nineties, when I watched Braveheart on the last show of the last day. None of my school friends wanted to see a depressing film about a man in a skirt (this was before it won the academy awards). Similar situation last night. Most of my friends were either not in town or not too keen to watch a film by the 'Monster's ball' director. The little or no advertising that the film got in the States dint help either.

I walked into screen 2 of the multiplex moments before the start, to spoil the privacy of a mexican couple - the only other souls in the hall. Thankfully, a newly wed Indian couple joined us minutes later. So there you go. The projector in a downtown Houston cinema, beaming the film just for the 5 of us....I mean, 3 of us.

Bad news first (spoiler alert!).

Soraya's eyebrows do not meet.

The guy playing Amir cant act to save his life.

There is no harelip.

and did I mention Soraya's eyebrows dont meet?

I loved the movie, nevertheless. I cant remember any other time when I finished a book and watched the movie so soon after, before the hangover died away. Its good and bad, I guess. Bad because you keep praying that the image on screen is exactly the same as the one you painted in your mind. So, you are extremely disappointed if it turns out otherwise.

For example, I was really looking forward to the 'half-time in the soccer match' scene. Not for the killings, but for the scene when the match resumes, after. I thought that was the essence of the scene, more than the killings themselves. Sadly, there is no 'after' in the film.

Another scene I was dying to see was the fight between Assef and Amir at the end. The way I played it out in my mind, there will be a large orchestra playing, a lot of slow motion, and a lot of close ups of Amir laughing - almost psychedelic. Almost like the scene where Bruce Willis fights the killer in 'Unbreakable'. I thought that scene was more poetic than anything else, when I read the book. Unfortunately in this film, the fight scene is just that. A fight scene.

However, it is a great film at the end of the day. I was actually pleasantly surprised to see that none of the scenes were over romanticised - like the way I did in my mind. They are actually very 'matter of fact'ly and that was an interesting perspective for me. The film also looks extremely authentic. The flea market, the soccer field, the pomegranate tree...

And the boy who plays Hassan is amazing. His smile has all the innocence you would expect and then more. However, the best actor in the film is undoubtedly baba. Bravo! His transition from the imposing father to the cancer patient is so real, that you will almost miss it.

When I left the theatre in the cold of the night, I was really glad I made the trip. However, I couldnt help feel that the film was playing catch-up with the book, most of the time. It was as though some of the scenes were meant to sprint, so the next scene could be there in time. Or may be it was my book hangover acting up. I would love to hear from somebody who saw it, without reading the book.

Clarity...

2007-12-27T10:11:00.001-05:00

Call me simplistic, but I believe that great eloquency is a result of absolute clarity in thought. There are only 3 people I know in sub-continent politics, who can walk into an impromptu press con and talk about complex issues for hours, without as much as a single stammer - Jaswant Singh, Jayalalitha and Bhutto. I might not subscribe to all of their political views, but I believe they are an endangered species.

The K Awards...

2007-12-17T09:54:00.000-05:00

ok....am a bit jobless right now.....but hey, almost everybody else is doing it....'Of the Year' awards seem to be the best thing that man can do in December....I refuse to be left behind!

The 2007 K award for the real 'weapon of mass destruction'

With the exception of suicide bombers and 'philishave' users, every other man I know is willing to put a couple of blades more to his face, once every 6 months...just because gillette says so....from 2 to 3 to 5 to 'i have lost count'.....and did i mention, paying a fortune more every time?....but damn, they are good!

The 2007 K award for the 'Rapidest of Rapids'

The Chennai MRTS project started when I was 8....I am 30 now...it is still 'a work in progress'....this work horse has successfully weathered through 7 wars....4 recessions....25 Rajini films....countless prime ministers....an entire highway connecting the 4 corners of the country and 2 other transit projects.....a lil birdie tells me the Delhi Metro project took only 4 years to complete...what a loser! Thats almost a premature ejaculation!! Go Chennai!

The 2007 'This film makes me want to go to the restroom and stay there for 2 hours' award

The sweetest half bake of 2007...

I think child actors, when they are good, come off really stunning on screen....be it Shamli in 'Anjali'....Anna Paquin in 'Piano'...the kid in 'sixth sense'....or Darsheel in 'Taare'....something mesmerizing happens, when real innocence and real talent mix....something that will never be possible for an adult to pull off, ever.

During Taare, you never get enough of Darsheel, in spite of him being in almost every frame...his performance seems so genuine, that it is difficult to believe he would have just repeated what was enacted to him.

The song montages are an absolute treat....especially the one where Ishaan has his day out on the road...wow!...I think it is these montages that make a rather simplistic film flow over 3 hours, without boring you - most of the time! Actually, coming to think of it....the film must have only 3-4 pages of dialogue....because i cant remember a stretch longer than 5 minutes, without a song...

if only aamir had not lip synced to that intermission song! ;(

if only the mother character was not mutilated half way though the film ;( and the father's, murdered!!!

if only the flip book was not flipped 7 times....

if only aamir's (girl)friend had something to do in the film....

if only the teacher did not ask for poetry interpretation from third graders....

but hey....the film has so many things going for it, that it almost gets made up for - almost!

the special effects of the kid's hallucinations are especially slick

prasoon joshi's lyrics for the 'ma' song are bound to haunt you for years to come

aamir's framing throughout the film is that of a seasoned pro...not a first time director!

SLE's music is lovable - once again......this is one of those films that u will love instantly if u r a 'buy cd before seeing the film' person....

even if none of these work for you, a pair of bunny teeth is sure to keep you tied to the seat - most of the time ;)

Lilith Fare...

2007-11-19T09:05:00.000-05:00

My doctor's office probably has the most intriguing decor ever. Grey walls plastered with fading old world maps!!! Probably because everybody there is dying for a vacation...or probably fantasizing about it ;) Since I' am finished with all the magazines they have, my newest activity to kill time there is memorizing countries and capitals! i think the last time I did that was for a GK test in class 5....

Anyway, point is....I discovered 'The Federated States of Micronesia' - on the map! I had no idea such a place existed...dont even remember seeing them in the Olympics!!!!....a group of islands somewhere above fiji and they are apparently 'federated' because they got independence from the US in the eighties....I dint know 'independence' was still en vogue in the '80's...;)

While on geography...theres something else I wanna pen down before forgetting....last night, the History channel ran this film on the search for the 'Garden of Eden'....a hunt for the actual location, based on the account in 'Genesis'....and the winner is!!!!!!!!.....Iran or Venezuela!....wonder what Dubya thinks of that....and hey, if he decides to invade either in the next few months he has, he at least has a sexier pretext than WMD. What fun!

etymology....never heard of this version before....whats the origin of 'Lullaby'?......apparently, "Lilith Abi".....Lilith - Adam's first wife eventually became a child stealing demon after she left him - according to The Book.....so neo-lithic mothers used to scratch the words 'Lilith Abi' (meaning 'Lilith be gone') on house doors, to keep her off their children....hmmm....so it had nothing to do with 'Saawariya'....apparently.

2007-11-15T17:49:00.000-05:00

God\ (g[o^]d), n. a.

a. A being of supernatural powers or attributes, believed in and worshiped by a people, especially a male deity thought to control some part of nature or reality.

Now listening ;)

2007-10-21T11:24:00.001-04:00

times they are a-changin....

2007-10-15T12:02:00.000-04:00

the best golfer on earth is black.
the most successful rapper is white.
and Andrew Symonds says 'Racist abuse by Indian crowds' fired him up for the century in Nagpur.

Take that vacation you have been postponing, folks. The world is coming to an end! ;)

Different Worlds - 25 years or 250 Kilometers away

2007-10-12T13:32:00.000-04:00

I think I would trade Orthopaedic injury for any other illness ANY DAY. Why?
a. you can eat and drink anything
b. theres no nausea
c. you can eat and drink anything
d. dont have to pop a pill
e. you can eat and drink anything
Thats why!

My uninterrupted showtime is continuing for a "3rd successful week". Last week, I watched 2 films which are not set in the World I live in.

'Children of Men' is in my opinion, the most important film made in 2007 (I have not seen 'Eastern Promises' yet and so I will reconfirm shortly!) - and I am not saying this in any temporary, post-movie hangover. It has actually been about 10 days since I saw it. Alfonso Cuaron - the guy who made the fun-but-profound 'Y tu mama tambien' has written and directed the film.

It is set 25 years from now, when the human race loses its ability to reproduce (a.k.a its mojo!). That world is not 'AI' or 'Minority Report'ish, but a darker one. One without hope. The first thing that hits you about the film is the art and production design that reflects this mood beautifully. The cars are 'futurish', but jaded; The city landscape dark - with uncleared garbage, and greying buildings - almost screaming at you with despair. It is not all about the facade. The detailing is equally stunning. In the shot below, the news papers on the wall carry fictional news of destruction of the times. Award winning stuff ;)

...and the long shots...wow!....7-8 minutes shots....not just dialogue, but action sequences. Beautifully choreographed....and no green screen! these are real time shots!!.....Now, I have never been a fan of film makers who employ visual effects simply because they can...but I dont think it is the case here......the visual language of this film is very distinct and is consistent from the start till the end credits......really, some of these shots make you pause and rewind.....not only becuase you loved it, but also because you cant believe they actually pulled it off!!

and the script....a philosopher' delight.....the audience's delight too! The way spirituality and politics of the land have been handled is very very interesting. Overall, the kind of film that you want to rip immediately and add to your private illegal collection.....the kind of film that will make you feel dissapointed if it din't win the 'picture of the year'.....and the kind of film that you want to force into the hands of the next person you see and say 'go watch'!

...and then i watched another film from a different world.....no, not 25 years from now, but 250 KMs from chennai....'Achuvinte Amma'

How can a state that is a 2 hour bus ride from Coimbatore be so different from the rest of south India? how is it that milions of people in Kerala go to the theatre and watch 'Achuvinte Amma', when the movie does not have any sex; nobody is raped in the climax; no guns; no stunt sequences with earth shattering music; no dumb and deaf heroine; no lip synced songs; no close ups of navels; no songs shot in new zealand or greece; no crane or dolly shots ending in a close up of the hero mouthing a punch dialogue; not even a comedy track! what changes when you travel 250 KMS westwards from Chennai? If it is communism, then lets have a revolution ASAP....

I know I am not the first to ask these questions and I wont be the last.

'Achuvinte Amma' is a Sathyan Anthikad film that won a state award last year, along with Lal and Blessy's Thanmatra. The protagonists are Urvasi and Meera Jasmine - two of the best actresses in the country, in my opinion. It is a tale of a mother and a daughter. A mother and daughter that we have all met in a bus, visited, lived next to or even have in our family! A simple yet poignant tale. I dont think they even rented a dolly for the film! But I totally loved the film.

The thing about Achu that glues you to the seat are the performances. I mean, obviously! Its Urvasi and Meera! I am a self-proclaimed Meera fanatic. There is something very peaceful about seeing her on screen....and boy, what a talent!! Loved her in Perumazhakaalam. Saw 'Sandaikozhi' only because she was in it....but this is probably my most fav Meera film yet (will reconfirm after seeing Rasathanthram)...why she will act in a SJ Surya film is beyond me.....;(

from the 'doctors' collection

2007-10-07T09:24:00.001-04:00

when the doctor said that I cant afford to move out of my bed for 6 weeks, the first thing that came to my mind was that I need enough music. Loaded up my iPod with all the 27.3 gigs of music that I had. Apparently, I over prepared. Have been playing this 2 minute track in a loop for an entire week now. Long live doctors. I figured its part of 'Lord of the Dance', but does anyone know whose composition this is?

Chak who?

2007-09-26T08:31:00.000-04:00

"Dhoni is the best thing to have ever happened to Jharkand" - Rajdeep Sardesai

"I hope Rahul (Gandhi) like Dhoni, will win the next big match (election)" - Sonia Maino (a.k.a Sonia Gandhi)

"*&*&@ ((&(& @&@&^@ ()(*!^&!%" - Rameez Raja

The world was going crazy.

What a week!!....To wake up to a cricket match is always fun (especially when you ahve been advised bed-rest!). The morning filter coffee mixes with the game almost as well as an evening pint at a pub with TV....epsecially when India is winning! and what wins!!....for me, the best part was the fact that none of the indians featured in the most runs / most wickets or even most sixes tables until the finals. Probably the biggest indicator that we are working well as a unit and it is not a few good horses pushing the cart, like the '03 world cup.

I thought RPS and Gambhir were the real heroes....the yuvraj mania was obviously amazing....but for me, it was these two work horses who turned in class acts over and over again. And ofcourse sreesanth.....i heard one of the panelists comment in IBN Live that 'the team should collect a sreesanth tax, where every other team member can compensate for his losses of match fee'....i dont think we ever had a character like him on our ranks...

Having said all this, the end was a bit bitter-sweet for me. When Ravi announced at the presentation ceremony that "$2 Million" is being gifted by the BCCI to the team, I honestly choked. This is unheard of...in cricket....The UEFA prize money for the winner is 7 Million Euros, but that is the prize money...Not the bonus.....The money rain did not end there....Rs. 1 Crore for Yuvraj and something like that for Dhoni....and the list got extended by the day...I take it back...It IS being extended by the day.....

Now, I agree that 'what a sports person makes' is not a 'fan' question anywhere else in the world....but I think it is a relevant question in India...simply because no other country that I know of, has sportsmen and fans complain of step-motherly treatment dealt out to a sport...

India won the Nehru Cup for the first time...ever! and if you are wondering what the sport is, it is soccer....we won the Asia cup for hockey this year....I would love to see how much those players made, vis-a-vis Dhoni's boys...it would actually be a rude joke.

You can count the number of astro-turfs in india, probably on one hand. I am almost positive that most of us can count 'Indian footballer names that we remember' in one hand too. I understand that the fundamental problem is the lack of popularity among fans for hockey & soccer and not the BCCI....but I believe this is a solvable problem....It has been done before in many countries....Cricket in Kenya, soccer in the U.S., soccer in West Indies....I think that something like this should be very possible for the Sports Authority of India, with enough funding and a clear long term 'grass-rooted' plan....we should at least be able to scratch the surface....I dont think we have even done that yet.

I got up this morning to read the article about the hockey players on a hunger strike in karnataka....coz they felt like "dust" when they saw state governments fighting with each other to announce awards for cricketers....I think this has got to be an absolute first....since big bang....that a sportsperson went on a hunger strike for more recognition....chak that India!

The Real Man

2007-09-18T03:30:00.000-04:00

I have been wanting to contribute to K's blog for a long time now and i finally have something to write about. It is a book called 'The Man' by Irving Wallace. (No spoilers!)

We were at the lending library and my mom said, "have you read this one?" what i saw was an extremely healthy looking book with tiny print. Not reader friendly. So i hemmed and hawed till she just took it for me and said " read it, its one of the most beautiful books i have ever read."

Being the obedient daughter that i am, i duly took it along. I finished all the other books i had taken and then when i got really desperate for something to read, i finally picked this one up. That was all i had to do and my life just stopped. I stopped cleaning. My house was a mess. I stopped cooking. I got hubby dear to buy food from outside. And my two and a half year old was the only one i took time out for (not before i subjected the poor guy to some unparliamentary words which he thankfully couldn't understand)

The rest of my time, i spent with Douglas Dilman. The unwilling, unelected, strong yet scared, official President of the United States of America. I watched him sit uneasily in his chair at the white house. i watched the people around get more than just uneasy at him being the President. I agonized at all that he was put through and i rejoiced at his very few victories.

What most people would be able to relate to is this : He was extraordinary but he felt less than ordinary. He was far from perfect. Yet, he got his strength from the people he held closest to his heart. His best friend and the woman he loved. Characters that one cannot help but admire. This book is an ode to the fact that people who believe in you can give you the courage to be yourself.

It is also a book which reinforces priorities, redefines generosity and also re-establishes what being human/e is all about. There is the odd situation here and there which might seem a bit contrived but in no way do they take away from the integrity of the book.

Its just one of those books that makes a difference. One which makes you feel that somewhere along the line, you might become a better person, just for having read it.

Now Listening...

2007-09-11T12:42:00.001-04:00

My all time favourite Farida Khanum ghazal....a friend once remarked while listening to it...."does'nt it feel like she really means it when she sings 'jaan jaathi hai jab ut ke jaathe ho tum'?"...she was kinda drunk at that time....but I have to agree. ;)

Bravo...

2007-09-07T12:00:00.001-04:00

was seeing nammavar again recently...never really went past this scene....was playing it over an over again...what a scene...what an actor...what a career....i dont think anybody deserves the phalke award more than nagesh, today....

That 'home' feeling....

2007-09-06T22:58:00.000-04:00

Its weird how you feel at home in the most unlikely of places, isnt it? Tired of buying vegetables at Walmart and HEB (It has become so mechanical that I bet I can shop blindfolded in both these places!), I drove a longer distance to the 'Hong Kong Market' today. True to its name, the place was littered with neon signs and smelt of fish and saltgrass...even at the car park!!. I dint even take a cart coz i was so sure I wouldnt find anything there that I could cook.....but five minutes into it....there it was.....the most stunning of all sights......i found 'vazhai poo' ('banana flower' for my non-tamil speakin friends) in one of the aisles......would you believe it???.... it is such a rarity that even indian stores here dont carry it!

its not like I am a big fan of that vegetable....it probably wont even feature in my top ten.....but the very sight of it, took me back home.... straight into the alwarpet markets and back !!! and it dint end there....i found a six pack of kingfisher in the next aisle.....how is that for a smashin night?! ;)

moving on....

Guillermo Del Torro's Pan's Labyrinth......

As expected, the film was stunning....multiple academy award winner this year.....the movie astounds you with the imagination of its maker....set in 1940s Spain, it weaves a soul stirring fairy tale in the back drop of the civil war....a heady mix of dickens, death, violence, hans anderson, blood and tinker bell. A wonderful script.....phenomenal acting (Ivana Baquero as the little girl Ofelia is amazingly endearing in her restrained performance)....and a haunting background score, make the movie a memorable piece by themselves....but the knock-out punch is Guillermo Navarro's cinematography...the color palletes are a feast for the senses and i would have been surprised if he had not gotten the Oscar (though I thought Giles Nuttgens deserved at least a nomination for his work in 'Water')

I think the best review of the film came as a one-liner in one of the news papers.... 'A fairy tale for grown ups'....thats pretty much what it was! ;)

moving on.....

The god is back.....and how! Talking of feeling at home.....I had to leave for work in the middle of the sixth ODI...but I left after sachin's fifty....grinning ear to ear all through the drive, knowing that the man was back to his elements....where he belonged...with the sword drawn out.....not rusting in its case, in the pretext of maturity....the cover drives were finding their rightful gaps and the audacity had come back to the lofted drives...

I went through a mini depression when I read the article speculating on Sachin's retirement....we all know its round the corner.....but its kinda hard to let go off a man who gave you the most goose pimples and pumped the most adrenaline in all your life....it will be a loneliness of sorts, when he really leaves....

The World According to Bhansali

2007-08-30T11:43:00.001-04:00

I am a big SLB fan. Yes, I know that he has not done an original work since Khamoshi. And Black was a frame-by-frame remake of Miracle Worker (something he refuses to acknowledge at all). That sucks, but still doesnt make me a lesser fan coz it is not his writing that I am crazy about. It is his mindless, crazy, beautiful and stunning vision. You can pause Khamoshi and Devdas in any frame and it could look like a painting. Try this trailer if you dont believe me ;)

PS: When I was in school, there was this trivia floating around (I think it was also a 'Landmark Quiz' question once) . Who directed the song 'Ek ladki ko dheka hai' from 1942 A Love Story. The correct answer was not Vidhu Vinod Chopra, but his crazy, lunatic, bearded assistant director!

Chick Flick

2007-08-22T07:16:00.000-04:00

Are you kidding me?

"....the nuclear deal has been approved here (in Washington, DC) by the President, and there (in New Delhi) it's been approved by the Indian cabinet. So why do you have all this running around like headless chicken, looking for a comment here or comment there, and these little storms in a tea-cup?....” is all that the man said. The quote is all over the media, if anyone cares to re-read it.

Now, how many elite minds does it take to understand that the 'chicken' in question is supposed to describe the media and not the 'honourable' members of parliament?

And 574 people, who are being paid atleast Rs. 2.5 Lacs per month in salary & expenses by the tax payer, are not able to work for 2 full days because of this linguistical confusion?

Wow!

Done and dusted!

2007-08-13T15:03:00.001-04:00

OK. We now have a 'sports film' sports film. Take that off the 'to do' list! And if you dint know already, this one is for the stands.

Forget twice; I rarely would want to pay and see a Yash Raj film once, these days. But this is an exception. I am already looking out for the next group that is going to the theatres. Not that I slept off or dint get the plot the first time around. This just is a film that works.

My stand on Shah Rukh is a bit complex. Unlike every other homosapien I have discussed the subject with, I liked him in Devdas. I ofcourse liked him in Swades. One of my all time favorite hindi film is Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa and I think I watched DDLJ 3 times. But the list kinda tapers after that. I think he has done a fantastic job in this film. However, contrary to all the reviews you will read and promos you will see, this film is not about SRK and he has very little to do with why this film works.

I like to think that films are like a magic act. You have to hold the attention of the audience until the act is completed. You have to hold the spell. If they break away in the middle and get distracted, the act falls flat on its face. Films work that way too. The ones that can hold the spell for the most part, work. That is why we still enjoy cinema at this day and time, when everyone knows the trick and also how it is done. That is also why films have to be believable these days - to keep the spell.

Chak de had a lot of almost-spell-spoiling moments (a.k.a Yash Raj moments) for me.
For example, when Kabir tells Bindiya "only you know how to break the man-to-man strategy" (I thought he made it sound like 'Chakravyuh');

Or when the Indian men's hockey team plays against the women's team. I was deperately hoping it will be a 'dream' sequence or something;

Or when the cliched 'Shenoy'ish background score happens when Kabir was leaving his house;

Or when the 'cricketer' mouths some very cliched, chauvinistic lines.

Add to these, a not-so-rare occurence of some amateurish acting

But none of them quite break the spell, really.

Talking of Chauvinism....and Feminism....

In my life, I have come across numerous women who are fitter, stronger, more intelligent, more mature and definitely smarter than me (I am not sure about better drivers, though ;)). It was my triathlete (girl) friend who taught me the A,B and C of long distance running and swimming. My most favorite bosses have been women. So 'feminism' is a redundant concept for me. However, I do realize that the real world is very different and I know that there are glass ceilings in almost every profession. That notwithstanding, I think 'Chak De' has too many MCPs and feministic lines for my liking.

Anyway....let me get to the best part...things I loved about the film:

- The girl who plays Komal Chautala. My second ticket has more to do with her than anything else in the film.

- The girl who played Bindiya Naik. Awesome

- The production value! I think Chak De is as sleek as any other sports film I have seen. The world cup game sequences are mind boggling. I remember watching the Mexican film 'Goal' recently and not liking the game sequences, which looked digitally enhanced. Not Chak De! The cinematography is exhilarating. I did not think too much of Sudeep Chatterjee after Dor and Iqbal, but the man kicks ass here. The shot when Bindiya Naik is sitting by herself in the locker room, against the wall, is worth a million dollars. But the best shots are the dolly shots of the games. Wow!!!

- I thought the background score worked, except the scenes of Shahrukh leaving his house.

- Shimit Amin. I think he will become a very important director of our time. I loved'Ab Tak Chappan' and I think this is a great second act. The way he has paced the film is almost perfect! and I think he has got the casting spot on!! and he has made each of the girls such endearing characters, that we almost remember all the first names while leaving the theatre!

- The girls! I am told that most of them are athletes of some sort and almost none of them, actors of any sort. However, they hold their own pretty well. They play well, look gorgeous and make you smile most of the time!

- Jaideep Sahni. For someone who wrote 'Company' and 'Khosla ka Ghosla', this is definitely a different 'turf' and to be honest, I think he did half of Shimit's job even before the shooting began.

- The montages. wow!!! everybody rise and clap....there are no lip syncs to songs in this film!!!! and if that is not an achievement by itself, each of the montages kick some serious ass....perfect!

We watched the film on saturday night and half way into it, I got a call from one of the actresses on The River, who told me she wouldnt be able to make it to the shoot sunday morning, because her grand mother passed away. That was a mini disaster and meant that I had to make atleast 25 calls Immediately, to firefight. But I dint move an inch until the last of the credits went past. And I am getting myself another ticket!

It is now official....

2007-07-27T11:58:00.000-04:00

Yes. I have registered the domain www.uditnarayanshouldnotsingintamil.com

I believe this is the best $1.99 or Rs. 79 buy of my life (Thanks to yahoo for the 7 day offer). It is weird, but I am having a feeling of overwhelming pride. I think I have done my bit for Tamil, the motion picture industry and may be even for global warming, to a certain extent.

It has been coming for a long time. Over a decade, actually. However, the 'sahana' song did it. I could not take it any more after that.

The site is under construction. Please send me ideas. One thought I had was to train thousands of commandos / special task forces and let them torture him to death the next time they see him anywhere in Chennai. Thoughts?

Latest & Greatest from Kamal

2007-07-18T01:53:00.000-04:00

This is amazing. A website of the 'most recent' from kamal's world. The content is awesome. They actually have an article written by Sujatha in 1976, when the writer visited him during the shooting of a Tier 2 malayalam film. One of the posts actually apologizes for being a few days late on a 'dasavatharam' update...wow....and I thought I was the lone crazy fan in this world!

http://www.allthingskamal.info/blog/

and by the way.....these are the 'official' stills of the film!!!!!!

Today show

2007-07-14T07:48:00.001-04:00

My 3.73 seconds of fame ;)

http://video.msn.com/v/us/msnbc.htm?g=0EA63BB2-9FF0-4115-B7F8-728BEC5B9DE4&f=00&fg=copy

Matagorda Island

2007-07-02T16:31:00.001-04:00

'Thick Brush' is the literal translation from spanish. I am not entirely sure why they called it so! Matagorda island is a good 180 miles south west of Houston, by the Gulf of Mexico. It was my pick for a 'less picnic-sy' and more 'solitud-ish'camp site for the June weekend. That is precisely was the websites told me.

So after days of scheduling and re-scheduling and re-scheduling, Vikrant Gandhi, Kiran Unni and yours truly finally picked up our brand new camp equipment and hit the road on a super warm saturday morning. The idea was to hit the port by early afternoon, take the ferry to the island and spend the night there, in the company of mother nature and fellow campers. At least, that was the idea on paper!

2:00 PM - We arrive at port-o-connor after a thankfully uneventful drive, except for the weird, dark restrooms of that lonely gas station!

2:30 PM - we hit the water on Ron's fishing boat cum ferry. Easily the best part of the trip.

2:59 PM - I realize we forgot the beer. Thankfully Ron has backup in his ice box!

3:30 PM - kiran's home made pav bhaji ka jawab nahin!

(photo removed)

4:00 PM - After a furious battle with the user's manual, we finish setting up the tent - at least in our opinion!

5:30 PM - We begin the walk to the other side to say hello to the Gulf of Mexico. Little did we know at that time that it will be our longest and most terrifying hello ever!

7:15 PM - After losing our way 5 times and not spotting a single rattle snake (it was supposed to be the rattler's country), we are still a mile from the gulf....but at an interesting cross road and sign!

(photo removed)

8:00 PM - After surprisingly not waking up any alligators on our way, here we are at the gulf. Hello!

8:45 PM - The sun is still out and surprise surprise, we are still alive...what better time for relief!

9:30 PM

after an entire day's vigil for rattle snakes and alligators, mother nature uses her alternate weapon of mass destruction on us....fire ants!!! shock & awe! as we tried to sneek in....
camping lesson 1A : Never pitch a tent on grass, if you have an option.

9:45 PM

Thats not all....surprise surprise, the other campers have called it a day. That means that we were the only homosapiens on that island for the night. Not exactly the saturday night plan we had....and with the ant revolution, it was time for a frantic call to ron the ferry guy!

10:15 PM

No sign of Ron's boat....but we had company....distant sound of Coyotes......(very) ugly! With Vikrant and a kitchen knife standing between us and a potential argument with a pack of wild coyotes.....we wait for the boat...which eventually docks in pitch darkness....with the help of a fancy gps system.

1:00 AM

Back home at the apartment. Red wine and fast food. Not the ideal camping night we had in mind, but hey....I am not complaining!

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom

2007-06-20T09:20:00.001-04:00

I have never left a theatre 12 minutes into a film, especially after paying $8 for the ticket. I did, last saturday - dumped JBJ after it barely began and sneeked up in time for Cheeni Kum. Probably the swiftest and the bestest decision I would make in my time.

If you have not watched it already, lemme give you an idea. 80s porn. The idea pretty much is that there will be a frame, two actors will walk into it and mouth their lines, a music track will be playing in the background, it need not necessarily have anything to do with the situation on screen (kenny G works best), and then there will be wild sex.

Now, replace the sex with a song and dance routine, make the frame look good (shoot abroad, use a brilliant cameraman, etc) and voila! - you have a Yash Raj Production.

The Downfall (Der Untergang, 2005)

2007-06-15T10:22:00.001-04:00

If you are one of those people who have had enough of the monochromatic holocaustish World War II movies and are desperately looking for another angle, then "The Downfall" is the film for you. It is not anti-semitic nor is it a 'hail hitler' film...that way, it would not have reached the academy in 2005. I think it is an attempt to recount the tale of the last few days of the fuhrer and his team-the way it actually it happened. and boy, does it work!

I missed the opening credits and a good part of the beginning as I tuned in late...but read later that the film is actually an account of the last ten days in the sub-terrain headquarters. Also, it is based on books and accounts of people who were pretty much there. Like Frau Trudl Junge for example, who was Hitler's secretary (and an extremely pretty one!). I was shocked to see her interview just before the credits - recorded in 2002....she was apparently alive until 2003!!!

Bruno Ganz is extremely believable as a tired, old and a still ruthlessly focussed Hitler. What strikes you about the film is the completely different character sketch of this man and for that matter, the Nazi junta itself. Doctors, friends, drinking buddies, lovers, kids...normal people. I love the way this scene has been written:

the end is near. the alco hol is out. some choose to end it in their own terms. So people leave the drinking table on by one with a mild good bye and enter the toilet where a doctor explains to them the science of shooting yourself and the tricks to keep it painless...no violin orchestras playing in the background, no close-ups to 'enhance the emotion', nothing. The scene just rocks you by itself.

2007-05-29T07:36:00.001-04:00

Can somebody identify this church?

the web is more fun since last night....for sometime atleast

2007-05-24T09:14:00.000-04:00

While sifting through the name throwings for the next president and 'opting outs' of the 'Somanth ji's and 'Atalji's (who by the way is my personal favourite to succeed Dr. Kalam), I landed up on what seems to be the president's blog! Now, I am an occassional nic.in visitor, but I am convinced this is a first...It does not seem amazingly interactive, but I can see a very detailed feedback page and all....it even has the powerpoint presentations that he made at different events...besides pictures of his herbal garden!!!

http://presidentofindia.nic.in

am just super excited bout this! so please bear with me if this is old news for anybody! It is not just the fact that the president has an 'e' existence....thats something you would expect today....but it is the care and effort that has gone into making it....the pics are not too heavy to download....the color scheme is not gawdy....the design is very tasteful....the content is staggering in volume and quality....many firsts there...;))

another reason why the web became more fun since last night is prem panicker's blog....or portal, or whatever you wanna call it.....for those to whom the name does not ring a bell, prem is the face of cricket journalism on the internet, for many mortals like me...lately, he has become editor (or something like that) of India Abroad - Rediff's NRI weekly and all that.....but there is nothing NRI about his writing....take a look even if my intro does not sound interesting...

http://www.prempanicker.com/index.php

Spidey 3 and Superstar

2007-05-09T22:48:00.000-04:00

OK. Have finally seen the world's most expensive film. First day, last show. Spidey 3 is a lot of fun. I dont care too much for the 'Kirsten does not do justice to Stan Lee's MJ' or 'Goblin is the real hero in 3' foul crying. Honestly, I remember so little of the spidey strips I read in school that I would'nt notice it if they had made goblin a busty blonde! OK...I accept am not a confirmed spidey fan...back then and even now, my allegience was / is always with a certain bat in a cape.

(spoiler alert!)

Back to Sam Raimi. Surprisingly, the thing that sticks out like a sore thumb in the film is the special effects....Now, I am pretty sure this had nothing to do with my lack of sleep the previous night. The special effects just feel like....well....'special effects'! Especially the scene where the crane rips the building apart.....i could have sworn that crane looked like 3D art.... is it just me?

or may be its because I assumed you could do a lot with $258 Million (Now, that is more than 10 times the budget of Bhansali's Devdas - arguably the most expensive Indian film ever made. It is also 80,000 times the budget of 'haze'!).

And yes....most of the reviewers are right.....Tobey cries way too much and removes his mask way too many times.....but Kirsten Dunst is exceedingly adorable. especially in her 'waitress in a Jazz bar' attire...I know not too many people agree with me, but I think she is a real beauty....kinda a 'hot gurl next door' (in spite of 'Marie Antoinette').

Now to the best part....the story line.....our hero is a super hero....he fights for justice....he has a lady love and a best friend....the friends have a misunderstanding....best friend thinks that the hero killed his father....a rift....but by the end of the film, best friend realizes his mistake and they both together fight the bad boys and save the girlfriend......sounds familiar?...remember Annamalai?? James Franco reprises Radha Ravi!!!!

OK that was a stretch....but it really got me thinking....when the protagonist is a super hero, I guess your options as a writer are very limited.....you pretty much 'hang' interesting emotions around the central character and spin the story....a.k.a masala....so I guess there is in fact a 'universal' method to the madness...be it spidey or Sivaji-The Boss!!

PS: by the way....on another note, I think I am going to offer an online jackpot to anybody who can translate Sivaji songs to Tamil....

Pyaasa...

2007-04-25T18:59:00.000-04:00

Just read that it is the 50th anniversary of Pyaasa. It is amazing how this song stunns every single time....literally...(the entire movie does Ofcourse, but this is Special)....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSo3KVwrp8M

OK...I Really need to get back to work now....

Godavari...

2007-04-25T01:26:00.001-04:00

Finally got to see it. Had been on my mind for so long now. Actually got to see it with dad and as a original DVD...double whammy! thank god.....for a locale like this, it would have been the ultimate sin to have caught a camera print online....

very fresh and very neat....completely loved it (inspite of the plain saree rain song and 'action oriented sub plots')....Kamalini Mukherjee looks like a Million Euros! I had never thought of her as eye candy types after vettaiyadu.....but she really is.....and did i mention hot?...And I think I HAVE to marry the person who dubbed for her....

The songs are haunting....K.M.Radhakrishnan (????)...definitely radar worthy...and I had no idea Badrachalam and Rajamundri were such 'wow' places.....

will completely recommend it.....

of Royalty and Railroad employees...

2007-04-09T15:12:00.000-04:00

Trivia time...points from the prev quiz will accrue...

1. This is quite literally a once-in-a-lifetime-event. Its name translates to "Collective Visit" and involves the congregation of Indian Royal families at a temple. After 41 years, it last occured the past weekend(!!) and it had 23 royal families in attendance (I did not even know so many existed anymore). Name event....half the points for naming the city

2. This is about a person with whom I have a love / hate relationship. Mostly hate. Connect, "Atmiyo Swajan" (Bengali film - 1999), Desh (2002) and Rediff.com. He is also related to Omkara in an unimportant way. Who?

3. Etymology...now, there are a lot of theories on this one....but this one seems to be more credible than the others....This 19th Century railroad superintendent introduced what was then an innovative system of merits and demerits for railroad employees of New York state. Accounts of his system were published in railroad journals, and american railroad employees soon began referring colloquially to ".........", and at some point, the term entered the general vocabulary. Fill the blanks!

my hugs and undying love for early birds!

Meanwhile....

2007-04-08T02:11:00.000-04:00

been a while since the last post.....Have been dying to catch up.....finally got a chance. The top 4 I HAVE to wite about....

The Namesake

Irrfan, Irrfan and Irrfan. The man is mind blowing! If Maqbool was awesome, this is Amazing! I have always felt that the key difference between western cinema and us is not inferiority in technical know-how, but (surprisingly) acting know-how. It is amazing how even a 'lowly' extra (not even supporting actor) in Hollywood / European Cinema puts in So much and comes across so convincingly, while we continue to be overwhemled by loud histrionics by our leading men and women। Irrfan is a cosmic aberration to this rule. He essays Ashoke with so much detail that it is a treat for senses.

In 'Interpreter of maladies', I was never able to get past 'A Temporary Matter' (It begs to be made into a slick B&W film). There is something so intriguing in the way Jhumpa tells us the simplest of human tales, that haunts us for weeks after we put the book down. I think it is the raw, undiluted honesty. I can feel that it is all over The Namesake, though I havent touched the book yet. The real coup is that this is also Mira's primary weapon. The combination is heady. You get an instant high!

My first tent morning!

When my friends Miki and Neha invited me to their 'trance party' in the middle of nowhere, I said a reluctant 'yes', as it is a genre of music that I have never been able to relate to. Not to mention the 'dance floor' component - a frontier I have never managed to cross into successfully in life ;(. However i HAD to go, as it was also Neha's farewell weekend in town before she flew to Atlanta to join her fiance. The place was a good 100 miles from any kind of civilization and I managed to get there after losing my way atleast 5 times. We pitched the tent in what seemed like an ocean of darkness, in biting cold. I was so tired from the driving and the 'losing my way' that I was fast asleep in my sleeping bag, with the trance playing in the far background. It must have been about 5:30 in the morning when Neha woke me up and said 'you have to see this'..... and I stumbled out of the tent. Wow! the muddy colorado river was buzzing in front of me, covered in a fog blanket and behind us, the cliff announced itself in the first rays of sun...it was quite simply the best thing I have woken up to in the last 29 years...(beats the steamy Ash poster in my room during college, hands down!).....and then there was Neha's piping hot masala chai...life's good!

Bangladesh!!

OK...This is officially the first time that I saw a match and a re-run consequtively, without the Indian team playing....wow! I cant believe that I can enjoy the success of a country whose army gorged the eyeballs off Indian BSF not long ago. I think it must be the 'underdog slaying goliath' masala that never fails to impress. I completely enjoyed Ashraful's audacity and how these guys have revived the World Cup which was otherwise reaching a predictable death. Way to go!

On a related topic....I think this article by Sambit Bal is by far the sanest I have read about Cricket India, in the last few weeks of media diarhea.

http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/india/content/current/story/288900.html

Please note that this came days before the recent developments at the BCCI. By the way....Venkatesh Prasad as the bowling coach? whats next....SJ Suriya directing Pacino?

Mozhi

I loved Radha Mohan's first - Azhagiya Theeye, for the screenplay and especially the humour. Mozhi was hyped beyond belief by every friend whose opinion I gave credibility to. Am happy that the film lived up to most of it. It is amzing how I have come to expect 'nothing less than wow' from Jyothika these days. and Vidyasagar! the man dishes out melodies like 'Murugan Idli kadai' does sambhar....and every serving is yummy!. Someone should name him Raja's unofficial heir! My fav scene was the 'zebra crossing as piano' ;)

Giving in to the temptation....

2007-03-07T14:58:00.000-05:00

OK....it has been in my mind for long....and I guess it was eventually bound to happen....especially with an elite crowd like this....Lets Quiz! wow....it has been 10,000 years since I did that!

anyway...cutting to the chase....the funda is that we would resist googling until we cannot take it anymore....I will keep the scoreboard ticking....and the eventual winner will get the most coveted prizes of all....applause and my unending love!

opening bells...

1. Connect: 'Little Miss Sunshine' and 'Monsoon Wedding'

2. Her maiden name is Watson. This comic character first appeared in vol#15 of the series, but was virtually an 'unseen' character until volume #42. In all her other appearances inbetween, the artist made sure that her face was always obscured.

3. Connect: Branson of Virgin Atlantic, Jeff Bezos of Amazon, John Carmack - the creator of Quake and Doom, Jim Benson - founder of the first ever search engine Compusearch, Paypal founder Elon Musk and Robert Bigelow - founder of 'Budget Suites of America'.